May Letters

Tuesday
1 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
263

Dear Jane,

Well, little lover, how goes it? I sure do miss you an awful lot. There is nothing worse than loving some one only to be away from them.

Tomorrow we begin operations. We sailed from Sasebo at 0700. The weather is getting better all the time. Warmer, I mean. There is an awful lot of haze and fog but all in all we can operate pretty good. We have lost only a few days flying on account of bad weather.

Our executive officer is at K-1 trying to find out about relief and when we get off the ship. Maybe they will do something about us in the next three months. Maybe I’ll see you in June, July or August. Who knows?

I love you all the way, with no ifs ands and buts. I never get tired of telling you I love you. I get pleasure out of loving you. Being away for a spell like this convinces me that I really love you. I don’t think about anybody or anything except you. My prize possession is your picture which is right above my sack. Oh me, love is terrible in a way because it makes you so sad and so weak in the stomach.

Lover, Pink ears be very good. I am, so don’t worry about me.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 253

Tuesday
May 1, 1951

Dearest Bunny,

Oh rabbit, I am really so worried I don’t know what to do — no letter from you again today. What is the matter — are you really angry with me or have you quit writing to me or is it all the mailmans fault. At times like these I worry so I don’t know what to do & feel so lost, & I become very, very sad. Of course, with no letters from you it is really sad & lonely. If you only know how much your letter is mean to me you would never, never entertain the thought that I don’t love you. You are all I have & all I want in this whole world. Oh gosh, why oh why haven’t I heard from you for 8 days now? It is an awfully long time to wait & it gets longer as each day goes by.

I really don’t have much to write about because I just washed some things tonight & I’m quite sleepy & inasmuch as I know I’m going to be out late tomorrow night I guess I’d better get some sleep tonight.

Be a good baby bunny, because I always am & love you so much I don’t know what to do & any thoughts of ever being anything but good never enter my head, so please don’t worry.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Wednesday
2 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
264

Dear Jane (Pink Ears),

Not much new again today. I got up at 0330 (AM) and went up around Chinampo. We blew up a couple of RR cars loaded with gear, sank a few wooden boats and had no other luck. The second hop was 1640-1915. It was another reconnaissance around Kumchon. Yorg and I bombed a bridge and burnt two trucks. Actually Kumchon is only a bombed out rubble place — no town at all. The same is true of Haensong and so many other places. I sometimes wonder what these poor civilians feel like with people coming into their country and blowing the hell out of it. They have so little to begin with and what they do have we destroy. The Chinese destroy a lot of stuff too.

Tomorrow I have one hop — 1640-1915.

There seems to be little hope of early relief, ie in a few weeks. It will be more like one or two months more.

The Reds are stalled on their big offensive. It has been a very bloody affair. They will shift the attack to a new area soon to try and get better results.

We expect to be out here until the 11^th. Maybe this is our last cruise on the carrier. The ship is due to go to the States soon and I hear we are due to debark on the 20^th or there abouts. Then it is K-1 again for us.

Doc McCabe is still at K-1 on some kind of a medical board. It seems that three pilots are up for reclassification, ie they are to be permanently grounded. The desire to fly goes away for some people. It is a rather tragic thing to be grounded. It will probably leave a mark on them. These people are grounded as psychologically unsuited to fly or something of that sort. The fear of flying gets the best of them and they start doing all kinds of things to avoid flying.

The only fear I ever have is of losing you. You are something I want for my very own real badly. I want you as my wife and the mother of my five children. I think your kids will be real nice ones inspite of a peculiar duck like me for a father. Well, in a month or two we will start on that family project. Of course, I love you and I am and always will be very good. You are the only woman in my life.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 254

Wednesday
May 2, 1951

Dearest Rab,

No letters from you again today & boy am I ever a sad, droopy rabbit! All kinds of terrible things pass through my mind — maybe you've found someone else in port better than I & more even tempered, or maybe your really mad at me & aren’t going to write anymore, or maybe you’ve been hurt, or a thousand other things. Please, please write me & tell me what’s wrong because I am so worried I feel weak & ill in the pit of my stomach. It is an awful sinking feeling to look in the mailbox & not to find any letters. Gosh bunny, you’re all I have to live for & the only one in this whole world I love it all. You will never be able to understand how much I miss you & think about you, & how wonderful it will be to be with you again. Do you know Sunday when we went on that drive through the wooded places I was thinking how exciting it would be to go down one with you just after dark & park like we used to up in the hills back of Oxy. Gosh, remember how devilish we were? Please don’t be mad at me, because believe me when I say I love you as no one else ever could & if you should ever leave me I think I'd just give up the ghost. All my hopes & dreams are with you & you alone.

Tonight Marie Knowlton & I went over to Shirley Cameron's, a friend of Marie’s, & sewed & gabbed & chewed the fat. There was a single gal there who was talking about her boy friends & dates, & I was thinking how grateful I was because I was not single, & didn’t have to go through that awful strain of finding the “right” man. I didn’t envy her one little bit, & I thought how lucky I was to have my own baby whom I loved & who in turn loved baby. me.

I have no more news, but please believe in me as I believe in & trust you — & I mean it with all my heart & soul & mind.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Thursday
3 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
265

Dear Jane,

I worked on my accounting statement today. I suppose you haven’t given it a thought — your statement that is.

This afternoon I had a Close Air Support hop a little south of Uijonbo which is a few miles north of Soul. The Chinese are pretty well stopped. They will probably start in again soon on a second attempt.

I wonder what you are doing this very minute. It is 2:30 AM on 2 May where you are.

I think some mail is coming aboard tomorrow but I’m not sure. Mail goes out anyway.

Again and again I tell you I love you and only you. There never will be another as close to perfect as you are. You’re all I have that is worth while and I sure intend to keep you.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert

No. 255

Thursday
May 3, 1951

Dearest Rab,

Well, halleluia! Nine, big, fat, juicy letters from you today — at long last. Gosh, bunny you can’t imagine how much better I feel tonight since I have finally gotten some letters & now I know that you aren’t really mad at me — thank goodness. You just don’t know how empty I felt when I thought that maybe I’d made you real mad. I try real hard to be good & happy & never sad & droopy but sometimes I guess I get real tired. You keep asking me where we’re going on our second honeymoon — well, I don’t know how much money we’ll be able to spend, & I should think after all that would be quite a factor. I have sort of been thinking if it were after June 15, Banff & Lake Louise in Canada might be nice. Have you ever been there? Everyone says it is very beautiful & interesting. But before June 15 it’s too cold & maybe you don’t like the idea. Where do you have in mind? I honestly don’t care, just so we can go someplace with nobody around to bother us & where it’s quiet & peaceful. if you would tell me where you have in mind I might get some literature on it from a travel bureau or something.

You write that you do not think the people at home are aware enuf of Korea & its implications. I think you are wrong to a certain extent. I do not think most people are apathetic to the situation, rather, I think most people are so confused about the world situation, what is right, & what is wrong, that they do not know what to do. I think most people have taken the attitude that it is all such a ghastly mess that only someone who knows & understands the world better than the average layman can even begin to guess what would be the discrete decision(s). Never think for one minute that MacArthur’s release was not the most talked of, debated & controversial subject that has ever happened since I’ve been alive. Everyone was up in arms, & MacArthur afforded the most stupendous heroes welcome in each city that you’ve ever seen! I think you do not know how most people here feel. Quite frankly they are concurrently baffled, scared & genuinely concerned — do not doubt the latter. Some more than others, of course. I repeat most people feel at a lost to know what would be or is right.

Well, bunny, I’m real relieved that I finally got some letters from you & feel much, much happier now. Tonight I’ll probably get a good night’s sleep as last night I didn’t cause I woke up & began to worry about you.

I’m real sleepy so be a good, good bunny ‘cause I always am.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Friday
4 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
266

Dear Pink Ears,

Although I got up at 0430 there was no flying because of bad weather except a flight of 8 which went out and came right back this morning.

The days are very long and very dull. There is a horror in this monotony. Vegetating is about the only word to describe it. There must be some worthy purpose served by all this unpleasantness but I for one do not have a very clear view as to what that purpose is, if there is one at all.

My principle activities out here are flying, reading, movies, wandering aimlessly about, drinking and writing to you. Thank God I have you to write because I know I would soon lose my mind. When I write to you I think and dream of you. There is nothing better for me in this world than that. You would be surprised and I bet it would flatter you to know how often I think of you and how complimentary those thoughts are. I do have one great satisfaction in knowing that you are more than worthy of the way I think and feel. As surely as I know I would never hurt you by an act of mine while away from you just as surely do I know that you would never hurt me. There in lies a simple faith in you and in God.

Out here I have become aware of two very important things in my life, God and you. Strange how late such realization comes. Perhaps it is not late but early. I feel in a way that it is early and that there is a long time to go. But then how do you [reason] time?

Truly I think there is something between us which belongs only to us. I know it is far stronger than I am and I believe it is stronger than you are. There is something which holds us and depending on how we treat it so will we enjoy it.

Did you ever suspect that you had such a sentimental lover?

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 256

Friday
May 4, 1951

Dear Snotty Puss Rabbit,

You will notice I am again enclosing my Financial Statement for April 1, 1951 with an adding machine tape I ran off this afternoon. You will clearly see my figures & the adding machine agree! How in the heck you could miss the “1” in front of the “60” I don’t know! That makes a total of $160- according to my books, so please do not make any more derogatory remarks about my spending ^$100- extravagantly because I have told you every cent I’ve spent! Also, please note my rabbit’s face turned very red & his ears are even turning red at being accused of “padding” because he is a very honest rabbit & not used to being unjustly accused! It was doubly insulting because just today I took ^$20- out of the ^$50- “extra” dollars you allotted me & paid off the B of A in Mt. View on the ^$6⁶⁷ loan! And, — besides that I have been planning for June, July & August to pay ^$330- on the car debt so it will be all paid off Sept. 1. Now — don’t you feel like a bad, bad stinky-pot rab? Gosh, I thought I’d been doing pretty good.

Today I bought Mother’s Day presents for your mother & mine — I got both the same — the smallest size (1 quart) Revereware sauce pans, @ ^$3⁷⁵ each. I knew they both wanted them & couldn’t think of anything else. Hope that meets with your approval & thought the price about right, inasmuch as it was the cheapest piece Revereware has.

Tonight Marie Knowlton asked me over for dinner & so I went, & took pineapple & cottage cheese salad. Dick was there this time, & was the same as usual. He pointed out to me that since you had “volunteered” to go overseas, at the end of a year I could file a divorce on “desertion” charges — so we all decided you’d better come home before the year was up. Dick said he’d be glad to act as my Council, but I said I had high hopes you’d be home within a year & such action wouldn’t be necessary & he said he just thought I ought know the facts. He, he, he, he! Better work on getting home like mad, sonny! Ha, ha, ha! Well, I’ll expect you no later than August 15 now — god, aren’t we devils?

After dinner we went over to Bobbie [Sanens] & had a bridge game until midnight! So needless to say I am quite sleepy now. The problems about the guys estranged wives were interesting, but, thank God that is not our worry — just to have small rabbits is all I worry about.

I’m a true blue, all out lover rab for you.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

[Attached to No. 256 is an accounting statement for April 1951. It is quite the piece of art.]

Saturday
5 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
267

Dear Jane,

I was up again at 0345. I’m sure sleepy now. I can hardly keep my eyes open. I have to get this in the mail because tomorrow we re-supply at sea. Tomorrow we have two flights in the afternoon, none in the morning.

Today was quite foggy and only one hop went out at 1630. I was scheduled to go but as I sat on the catapult all set to go my engine acted up so I didn’t get off.

The last two books I’ve been reading have been full of adultery. It upsets me no end because I immediately take a personal interest in the possibilities that I may be in the same shoes as the unsuspecting loyal husband. When you read about it and see a few examples around it starts one thinking. I’ve decided not to read that stuff anymore. I can’t stand the horrible knowing sensation of doubting you. No more of those books for me. Bah!

The biggest think I look forward to is seeing you. I’m thinking about it all the time. I try to keep remembering what you are like but memory fades so fast. I just end up looking at your picture knowing that there is a likeness of the person I love so much and worry so about. I even took that small clipping of your hair out of my pocket book and pawed it. I examined it most closely. I have many pleasant dreams about you. Sometimes an awful dream sneaks in but I think they are a result of those awful books.

You won’t have any trouble knowing that I haven’t slept with a woman because I’ve forgotten what it feels like and I wonder if I’ll know how to do it. I feel like some beast full of strong ugly passionate desires and actions. I bet I scare you. Just be prepared to be scared.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 257

Saturday
May 5, 1951

Dearest Little Rab,

Another day without my own baby beside me & all days without you are sad, lonesome daze!

This morning I woke up & decided I’d like to have some company for dinner, so I asked Peggy & Betty & Jimmy Ramsey as Bud had gone out to their ranch. I just decided to hell with the housework & I’d pay back some debts in meals instead. I had spaghetti, tossed salad, garlic bread & lemon pie. The pie turned out extra well & Peggy said it was the best crust she’d ever eaten. They all seemed real grateful for it & especially Betty as she is extremely pregnant. After dinner Betty & Jimmy went home & Peggy & I went down to Kitty’s & played Canasta until mid-night! So needless to say I am a trifle sleepy to say the least. God, what a sport to be out two nights in a row.

Gosh, how I wish you had been with us tonight. Saturday is Always so lonesome without you! Soon, soon I hope my little bunny will be back again. I love you lots & lots & lots & lots, & always will & just hope you will always love me as much as I love you. You are the nicest, sweetest, bestest husband anyone could ever have.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Sunday
6 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
268

Dear Jane,

Just another day with one big exception. Mail call and one sort of fat letter from you plus the alumni bulletins. I note the article Love, Marriage, Children and Security. I think our problem in this area is conquored. We are going to get our five child family under way within a few seconds after my arrival home. You may still have the door knob in your hand before you realize the first try is over.

Today was re-supply day. I had only one hop. It was about 10 miles north of Soul. We destroyed one piece of artillery and probably too more. The front is very quiet. The Reds took a terrible beating even though they have pushed us back 10-15 miles. We may counter attack soon to upset any new planned offensive they may have in mind.

I note the Harvard Bulletin lists me as being in the U.S. Marine Corps Air Army. It should be arm but then what can you expect of people who revolve in their own bodies and eat their own souls.

Tomorrow I get up at 0430. We have gone on day light saving time so actually we are getting up at 0330 as before, ie in relation to the way God created this world. It is a Combat Air Patrol hop which consists of intercepting aircraft or ships, suspicious ones or otherwise. It is very dull but it has the potential of being an exceptionally exciting hop.

I don’t think we have any problems like many people have in their marriages. We don’t believe in playing around with others of the opposite sex. In fact for us it is a very vital must not do or else. At least, I never get tired of writing that I love you. I never get tired of your company. I never get tired of sleeping with you. I never get tired of your house, I never get tired of your food. I just haven’t ever had a dull moment as long as I’ve known you, when I’m with you. You have everything I want. I’ve got no desire to turn else where for any reason. Hell, Rabbit, you’ve made me the happiest fellow in the world. Knowing that you have succeeded so well in doing all this for me my only worry is that I’ve not made you the happiest woman in the world. If I haven’t succeeded then I worry that you may find some one who will succeed. I’m kind of selfish I suppose but believe me I try and maybe I could do better if you would only tell me how.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 258

Sunday
May 6, 1951

Dearest Bunny,

Well, I sure was a gad-about this weekend & the only room I cleaned was the back-porch! I had all kinds of good intentions, but about 11 a.m. Peggy Dermody called up & asked me over to dinner & said Kitty & her sister & Kitty’s husband were coming over for a community barbecue & Canasta & would I come to for the fourth at Canasta. Also she wondered if I’d make another pie like last night’s for Bud. Since we started playing Canasta at 2 p.m. I didn’t do much else. We had a delicious barbecued spare rib dinner about 6 p.m. & then continued to play until about 9 p.m. I am so sleepy I can’t even pick up the house & since tomorrow night is the Watt’s party at the Pink Horse Ranch I guess the housecleaning is lost in the shuffle this week. Boy, I’ve played so much Canasta it’s coming out of my ears, but at least it keeps me busy — & out of mischief by cracky.

Incidently, Freda called today to say that a week from Tuesday they were leaving to go back to England. She said her father had cancer of the spine & they didn’t give him very long to live, & he wanted David to learn his business. Freda said they sold their house, & David had secured a year’s leave from his job as he liked it real well & Pabco seemed to like him. They expect to come back here, but, of course I doubt it mightily. I am going up to the City next Sunday to have dinner with them.

I loves’ ya, with all my heart & soul & always will & only long for the day when we two rabbits will be tail wiggling together again, & happy just because we’ll be together! Boy, won’t we have a hot time tho’? I am always a good, true baby & please don’t worry about me.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Monday
7 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
269

Dear Jane,

Another day goes by. Two flights. For a change the army has trapped some Reds. They have a big batch of them cornered north of Soul.

There is a statement out by the Marine Corps showing when you are eligible for release from active duty. As usual the thing is unintelligible when it gets down to a specific person. All I can figure out is that I will be in for a minimum of 12 months or a maximum of 21 months. I may be release any time in between. You see that makes no sense from a personal view. One thing it does mean however is that we had better save as much money as we can. God, will we never get out of financial paralysis. That car debt has to be gone by the time I get out of service, or else.

Pink ears, there is nothing else to write about except the only enjoyable thing in life and that is my love for you. At least a little love overcomes a lot of problems. I’m true blue and really a good rabbit. I’ll always be that way.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 259

Monday
May 7, 1951

Dearest Rab,

Well, I’m just about collapsed after all the nights out gallivanting, but I’ll just write a note.

We went out to the Pink Horse Ranch, just below Adobe Creek about 6 p.m. They had a trick horse rider whom we watched for a while & then we went up to the trout pond & caught our two trout apiece for dinner. It was lots of fun to catch the fish with the bamboo polls. Then we had high balls (with lousy liquor, so I only had one) & pretty soon dinner was ready. Green salad, trout, french fries, lima beans, & Mexican beans & ice cream for dessert. All very good, I was the only person there under 40 so I can’t say I had a real red hot time, but it was very nice of them to ask me & I appreciate it a lot.

One letter from you today No. 261 You say when I accused you of having padded the ^$150- I must have padded my accounting statement & therefore I must have a guilty conscience, which is NOT the truth at all — & I don’t like the idea of your sending me money orders beginning in June at all. God, I have always given you true statements & that I did real good well to pay off the B of A, Mt. View this month & I have paid ^$300- or total of ^$600- off on the car debt on March April 1 & May 1, & as I think I told you I intend to pay ^$320- from now on so it will not be ^$80- shy on Sept. 1 as the debt was ^$1880- originally! You old bat! I’ve been trying my darnedest & you old thing accuse me of all kinds of untruths! As soon as I stay home one night I’ll send you my acctg statement for May 1 also the things I paid on May 1, as I have a budget sheet where I record check Nos., etc. as I pay the bills.

I’m awful sleepy, Scrooge, & have to go to sleep — but bunny wiggle I sure loves ya’ lots — EVEN if you are a SCROOGE!

All my love & xxx,
Jane

P.S. AND — I’m NOT a VIXEN! I’m a sweet baby rabbit:

Tuesday
8 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
270

Dear Jane,

The weather is bad again. This afternoon I checked over my books and made a copy of the April Statement for you. I wish you would follow this form though I know you won’t. I’ve given up with you. I’m just going to put what are artificial limits on what I think you should spend. There is no other way I can set up any standards because you won’t give me a record which can be used to set up those standards based on past experience. Now “hair brain” don’t write me a batch of tears and stuff about how you try. I know you try in your own way but it is just hopeless. I tell you hopeless! You don’t comprehend so there is nothing that can be done. It’s lucky that my love for you is stronger than my love for money else there would be trouble. Love over cometh everything!

Today we are just cruising around in a fog, literally. It is a pleasantly cool day. Two more days of operation and then back to Sasebo. Scuttle but has it that we will be on a carrier until June 12. You see there are endless rumors. I’ve given you at least a dozen that contradict each other. Perhaps you see why I pay so little attention to them.

They are calling flight quarters for the second time today. I guess I have to go. So will close this and mail it.

I loves you very, very, very much and a whole lot more than that. Be a good rabbit.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 260

Tuesday
May 8, 1951

Dearest Rab,

It’s only 7:30 p.m. but I’m so tired & sleep. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll dash off a note to you.

Nothing, absolutely nothing happened today except that I didn’t feel too sharp as I guess I ate too much last night or something. I did come home & clean up a little bit as the dust & fluffy’s on the floor were quite thick. Mrs. Bullock, Bob’s mother, came over & looked at the kittens & she is going to take Baby-cat’s child. I wouldn’t be surprised if Baby-cat’s husband wasn’t angora or something because he has very long fur. Incidently, it seems the neighborhood (mainly the Watts & Rockholds) are complaining because Cinder & Baby-cat get in heat & the males howl around at night. Peggy has said several times that I’ll loose my happy home if I don’t have them fixed. All this, is an idle threat, because I called the Animal Shelter & they can’t do anything legally, however they could poison them or something similar, so I guess I’ll have to break down & spend the ^$40- & have them fixed. God, what a mess. I wish you were here, fo. I am sure they would probably not be raising all this raucous because if there were men in the house. Trying to be a good neighborhoo I do not want to get into an argument with them, so I guess all I can do is have the cats fixed. Egad, if it isn’t one thing it’s another! I just wish you were here all the more to cope with these stupid asses. They have nothing else to do or to think about, so a lone woman is a good source of attack & victimizing — I am sure this is the (subconscious probably) psychological reasoning behind the whole thing — funny, they didn’t start until you left! Well enuf of my cat troubles for once. But, I just want to warn you when you see ^$40- chalked up to “cat fixing”.

As I said a long time ago I’m real sleepy & tired so I’ve got to hit the sack now.

I love you, baby rabbit, most of anybody or anything in this whole world — always did & always will. I’m a true, loyal, loving wife & never have any thoughts of being anything else — believe me! You are everything I’ve always in a husband — & I really mean it.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Wednesday
9 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
271

Dear Jane,

Today was a good flying day. The Reds were really on the run. They were out in the open in many places. They were running north which is good. They have lost half the gains they made in their big offensives. I had two hops around the Munson area. They worked real well.

The weather is quite warm. The water is about 54º F now. I’ve been wringing wet on the last few hops. Our rubber immersion suit is an awfully hot thing.

You haven’t told me how Buster is lately. You only talk about the cats. Don’t you like Buster? Last thing I heard about dear Buster was his futile dash for freedom at Stanford. I’ll bet you were dressed up and had Buster on a red leash to be “sporty” or fashionable or something. What did you want to be? An eye catcher. Who did you want to notice you?

Tomorrow is the last day of operations. Oh yes, I think I left the last letter up in the air about flight quarters. Well, I had a flight yesterday afternoon after all. Tomorrow I have only one hop, I think. Then to Sasebo. The new word is that we have another cruise after this one. It may be the one before I am relieved or maybe there will be another one. You know how the service is, or do you? Well, it’s this way and you can’t fight the system.

My heart is full of love for little you. Some times I think you are pretty lucky to have a man animal such as I so much in love with you. I wonder if other gals have any kind of a man really in love with them. Maybe us poor boys give so much love because they haven’t anything else to give. I’ve been real good and will continue to be good. Just you be the same. The walls have eyes and ears as you once wrote me.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 261

Wednesday
May 9, 1951

Dearest Baby,

Just another old dumb day without you & without a letter from you! God, as each day goes by I become lonesomer & lonesomer for you & more & more eager for your return, if that’s possible. Why, it’s possible that Clit will grow so anxious to be with Jr. because she’s been waiting so long that when Jr. arrives on the scene she’ll attack him with a terrible vengeance, until he, po’ thing, will be panting for breath & will be limp like a dishrag. I really feel sorry for him — he’ll be sorry he ever left Clit’s warm cozy house. Oh boy — there’ll sure be a hot time in the old town!

I was a bad, bad rabbit again tonight & went to Moffett Field to play Bingo with Peggy & the “girls”. Of course, I had a real good time, but am glad I don’t always have to go. The “girls” are not very good sports, & when they don’t win they keep saying they’ll never go again. God, I figure if your going to gamble why just do it for fun & kiss the ^$1.⁷⁵ goodbye & if you happen to win all the better. As long as I don’t ever go to shows or entertain myself much any other way except having people in to dinner & going out to dinner, occasionally I can spend ^$1.⁷⁵ once in a while.

Eh what? Do you mind? I hope not because we never do anything except play Bingo & come right home, & after all I usually have at least 3 chaperones — I’m sure none of them were under 50 tonight.

I’m awfully sleepy as it’s midnight. I still loves you most of all the things in this whole world & always will. I just can hardly wait until the day you come home! That’s all I think about!

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Thursday
10 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
272

Dear Jane,

We are on our way to Sasebo. One hop today, 1445-1730 and that is all she wrote for this cruise. I suppose we have one more after this one but I’m not sure. Nobody knows what is going to happen or when.

Without you life is real dull. Gosh I sit here and want to write something and there is nothing happening worth writing about. We just hibernate on a ship in between hops. Even the hops haven’t much to them.

The only interesting thing to write about is how I feel about you. Sometimes when I read over what I’ve written to you I think I am weak in the head. Do you think there is something wrong about the way I feel about you? I love you and want you forever. Should you want some one so much? Anyway my love for you has made my morals of a saintly stature. My love for you sure keeps my sex desires in an iron grip. I’m sure glad I’ll being seeing you one of these months.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 262

Thursday
May 10, 1951

Dearest Bunny,

Nothing exciting happened today except that 3 letters came from you. You told me about the 3 guys who were being grounded — it seems a terrible shame that men are strained to that point, & there are not enough replacements before things reach that point. Also you said you thought you would be debarking from the Bataan on the 20^th & go to K-1 — where is K-1? Is that Pusan, Itami or Bofu? Too bad they don’t replace you when you leave the Bataan. God, how much longer are the old skunks going to wait? I think I’ll pop if you don’t come home soon. You keep saying you worry about losing me. That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard of — gosh, lamb’s lettuce once your stuck with me it’s forever! I’m stuck to you like glue & you’ll really have a terrible time to get me unstuck!

[Pages 2 and 3 are missing.]

Well, I hope those financial statements are to your liking — at least they are the best I can do — so I hope it all satisfies you! Scrooge!

Gosh, I’m sleepy & tired after all that mental strain — so will go to beddy-by now.

Be a good, true-blue rabbit, as I am & love you more than you’d ever believe.

All my love kisses,
Jane

Friday
11 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
273

Dear Jane,

A whole batch of letters. They were real good. I’m glad my parents were able to see you. Dad says you are lonely but in good shape.

You write about the sad, sad letter I wrote. Your last letters say you haven’t received another. One of them indicates you are panicy. What nonsense do you write. Even if I were mad at you I would still write. I’m not mad at you and if I were I would still love you. You can be happy, mad, sad, or feel any other way and you can still love someone. Moods don’t change love if it is really there. So you see there is nothing for you to worry about. We will just stick together and I’ll bet everything turns out for the best for us. So we will have to live on ^$250 a month. That is in the future but then if we use our heads maybe we can wrangle more than that out of someone. It would be nice if you just started to look around and see where I could start if I were to look for a job. Perhaps you can become acquainted with some one who finds jobs or knows how to find jobs for out of work rabbits. It is never too early to begin. Start nosing around discreetly, friends, employees, wives or people in general. Sort of find out what the lay of the land is in the San Francisco Area. Maybe you know some HBS people. You have a good head which you use at times. Well, this is one of those times.

What do you mean I never say nice things about you? Who said you were dumb? I’ve been under the illusion I’ve called and written you that you were a perfect wife. Some times I think the only things you hear are the mean things I say. Why don’t you remember the nice things I’ve said? I only remember the nice things you’ve said and done for me. I like those better so I forget the bad.

This lover rabbit wants to get back to you but fast. I love you. I love you. I love you. You’re smart, beautiful, and wonderful.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert

No. 263

Friday
May 11, 1951

Dearest Rab,

It’s real late so I’m real sleepy. Tonight I went over to Ceilie’s & Kirk’s for dinner — spare ribs — & to sew on her sewing machine. I’m trying like mad to get my hems all straightened out in my cotton dresses as spring has sprung around here & I guess I’ll be forced to begin the everlasting washing & ironing — but it will be fun to get into cottons. Ceilie’s machine is really a dream & she is very nice about letting me use it.

The most ghastly thing happened today & I am just sick about the whole thing. Last night I washed out a whole bunch of things by hand that are too nice & good to put in the washing machine. This morning before going to work I hung them out. I went to take them down after work & my god — the Watt’s had had their roof tarred today & they evidently parked the tar truck in the alley right behind our back yard & all the clothes are yellow & sticky with tar smoke. I took them right over to Bob Bullock (after showing the Watt’s) & after I found soap & water wouldn’t even touch it. Bob said he doubted if it would come out. I estimate there were at least ^$50- worth of clothes. I just pray they were not ruined. I called Knowlton & he said if they would not settle peaceably he was almost sure I could collect in Small Claims Court. I’ll get them back from the cleaners Wed. & then I’ll see what kind of shape they’re in. What would you do if you were I? Isn’t it the most god-awful thing you’ve ever heard of. I’m just so darn mad I’ve just gone around swearing & cussing to myself all day night.

One letter from you — No. 262 in which you said you thought you’d be getting off the carrier this month. Gosh rab, why don’t you they send you home. I’m so lonesome for you & just wish & wish you were here beside me to snuggle with. I love you lots & lots & lots & lots because I know you love me just as much.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Saturday
12 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
274

Dear Jane,

Another letter from you today. I’m glad to hear that you got nine all at once. If letters mean as much to you as they mean to me I know how you felt as the days went by and there were none to read. Also, I’m happy that you have gotten over that foolish worry about me being mad. Of course now and then I get man but I know inside that I will never stop loving you so what can I do about it even if I am mad? Besides all that, if you feel the way I do I wouldn’t have the stamina to attack your love or even play a round with it. I hurt too easily when it comes to you. Now I know what hurts me so you can bet I would never do anything to hurt you. Well, anyway I hope this is all straightened out now. Buck up Pink Ears, all is not lost, all in not evil in this old world. Some day someplace there is something much better for us.

The Doc has borrowed this Royal portable from one of his corpsmen. It is quite a good one and I like it very much. It only costs around $65.00 out here. I have a plan. I’m going to buy one. I think you will like it even if I can’t have your weighed opinion on it. This part of the plan I carry out. The second part of the plan applies to you. You know that big clunker of a typewriter we have. Sell it. When I write the exact price of the new one you take that amount out of the sum you collect on the sale and put it in the savings account. Thus, we will be out no cash. We will have converted that thing into a new typewriter. There may be some cash left over after the deduction of the price of the new typewriter. You take the amount left over and buy what your little heart desires. I realize you may not get very much for the old typewriter, in fact you may not get enough to pay for the new one. However, there is an off-chance you may get quite a bit more; if so, you are the winner. If not, you have neither gained nor lost anything except some energy in making the sale. How now brown cow, what say you to this idea?

The weather has been beautiful. It makes you feel good to be alive. I am taking some more pictures. They all seem to be of Sasebo. After all this is the only Japanese town I see now days. As usual, I spend my evenings in the O’club but I feel that is better than going to the Japanese clubs. In the O’club there is no temptation. I don’t believe in torturing myself so I just avoid women. You are really going to have a sexy beast around when I first get home. You may be revolted or shocked but there is nothing I can do about it. That’s the way men are built. Of course, there is one idea but you have definitely forbidden it and that is to cool off this hot passion with some gal out here. I don’t like that idea either. Since I am so restricted you will just have to endure this terrific back pressure that has been building up. Boy, oh boy. I have to top writing and thinking about that because it is driving me nuts.

Have you ever doubted that I love you? I never have really doubted your love. My big problem had been coming to the realization that your love actually exists and that I am the recipient of that love. It is like a big wonderful dream that has come true. If I never have anything else in this world I will always know that I have the biggest, best, most wonderful thing any man could hope to have. That is the love of a good woman. Next to God it is the most real and wonderful thing that exists. We are so rich we still can’t grasp the magnitude of our treasure. I’m sure glad it only took me three and a half years to find this out. Just think how long we could have gone on just accepting each other as an every day fact and not ever getting to the point where we both saw clearly this treasure at our feet. I shudder to think of the dangers we could have fallen into because of our ignorance. Maybe you saw this love all along but I sure didn’t. It scares me to think of what could have happened but never did even though I was utterly oblivious to all this about me. Now that I see what we have it will take more than hell, brimstone and high water to tear me away from it. You know, I just can’t express what I am trying to say, nothing seems to come out just right. The words just don’t seem to convey the substance of this intangible. That is inconsistent but then that, I suppose, is as it should be.

Well, Pink Ears, the above is my magnificent effort. I have shot my wad on the subject of love for this letter. Wish, still, I could write the way I feel.

You be a cheerful rabbit. It makes me very, very sad when I read that you are a sad rabbit or a tired rabbit or an unhappy rabbit. A horrible feeling of frustration, impotence, and an inability even to think clearly comes over me when I know you feel badly. Over and over I find myself thinking that I and I alone brought all this on you. Why, why have I hurt you when you have done nothing but love me? I don’t even know how to rectify the wrong. I don’t know how to make restitution. In this impossible situation, confined in a straight jacket, all I have been able to do is give you more and more love as more and more grows in me. Yet, I can’t even give you that love intelligibly because I can’t express it and even if I were with you in person I don’t know how I could let you know. Sometimes I get angry because everything seems to be bottled up inside of me. The only thing I have to give you in large quantities and really desperately want to give you is all bottled up and just doesn’t seem to get uncorked.

Always remember you have my undivided love, undying loyalty, limitless trust, my spirit and my whole physical being. I guess when you come right down to it that isn’t much. Oh yes, I might as well throw in these tears that come because I feel so incompetent to express or act to realize my hopes and dreams and do the good I do much want to do. Maybe there is a negative consolation, consolation prize perhaps, in all this. Perhaps there is at least one woman in the world who doesn’t have from any man what I have given you; little as it is she may not have it.

Believe in me and true is me and I will believe in you and trust in you.

Mert

No. 264

Saturday
May 12, 1951

Dearest Rab,

No letters from small ‘wabbits today, but I can’t complain because lately the letters have been coming very well.

This morning I got up & decided I’d take the bull by the horns & take both Baby-cat & Cinder to the vets to be “fixed". So, I did. I think it will be ^$20- apiece — gulp! But I really do not think there is anything else to do if we want to live in the neighborhood as the “Cameron’s” cat situation has caused quite a furor I guess. Mrs. Rockhold periodically rakes me over the coals at the neighborhood bridge parties I hear from Peggy. God, & I thought we’d been perfect, quiet, model neighbors — no loud parties, no kids, & we’re not home very much, & in addition to all this I’ve really tried to be nice to everybody. Well, I guess you never can tell, & of course I’m never there to defend myself!

Peggy & Bud also asked me over to breakfast this morning & it was real nice. Sarah is moving & Bessies is leaving for the East so it was really for them, but nice of them to ask me too.

When I took the things of the tar smoke to the cleaners this morning Mrs. Bullock said she’d been trying to get me on the phone because they were having a surprise housewarming for [Bot] & Leslie tonight & wanted me to come, & so I went. We all chipped in a $1 & Mrs. Bullock got them a very nice firescreen. It was quite a nice party for that kind — a bunch of people who didn’t know each other. It broke up about 10:30, & so far Saturday night it is still quite early, but I have told Freda I’d be up to the City quite early tomorrow, so expect I’d better go to sleep now.

I’m always a good, true faithful rabbit & love you & only you & always will. You are perfect for my money & I have absolutely no complaints.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Sunday
13 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
275

Dear Jane,

More letters today. They are always the best to read. In your usual way you did not send a balance sheet. True you sent me a record of your expenses. Sometimes, just sometimes, I wonder what the balances of our debts and assets are but you are real close and for some reason desire to conceal the facts from me. I notived the red faced red eared rabbit. Well, I ain’t accusing you of anything but in days gone by I did entertain the hope that you would send some intelligble information on our finances but those days are gone and I no longer have such impractical thoughts. Go merrily on your happy way, just do the best you can. By the way I think I will send Dad $100.00 to apply on the $600.00 we owe him. I don’t think doing that will cause us any serious shortage of cash. One of these days I want to be free of all debts. I wonder if that will ever happen. We will have endough cash for a reasonably luxurious second honneymoon. Of course, we will not know how much we can afford to spend on a vacation until the time comes and we have a clearer idea of commitments.

All I do now is waite for your next letter. Strange how such a thing becomes so important.

When I type letters I find I have to write more to full up a page. Before when I had nothing to write I would just make my writing larger and thus fill up the page with less. Using a typewriter I suppose I will just have to end some letters of the in the middle of the page. You get just as many or more words out of me. Some of your letters are awful short. When I get short letters I feel kind of neglected.

The word seems to be that this will be the last cruise for some of us who came out in August, or the first draft. Those who came out ten days later will probably have to stay out here thirty days or so longer. That means that in the long run I will be with you thirty days more than some of the fellows will have a chance to be with their wives. There is no word on what or where we will go onvce we are in the States. I wonder when I will be able to get out of the service. I feel that I will probably be in the full 21 months, at least that is what I base any plans on now.

I’ve run dry on something more to write so I must end this soon. Naturally I love you most of all. Yesterday’s letter contained about all the written expression of love that I had stored up. You will just have to be satisfied with one big letter devoted to love. I will have to store up some more providing you like what I wrote yesterday. Don’t worry about me. I have been and will be a good rabbit.

Believe in me and true is me and I will believe in you and trust in you.

Mert

No. 265

Sunday
May 13, 1951

Dear Baby Bunny,

This morning I got up quite early, finished cleaning the house & went up to the City to have dinner with David & Freda. It was Mother’s Day & Bayshore was really packed, but I arrived O.K. They are nearly all packed & it was real sad to think they are leaving. They fully expect to come back but I really doubt it very much. I thought we were going out to dinner but we went to Freda’s cousins & Freda said it was for tea, but when we got there dinner was on the table. Needless to say I was extremely embarrassed inasmuch as I had never met the cousins. I was not convinced that David & Freda didn’t know it wasn’t for dinner, but there really isn’t much I can do about it now. The dinner was really delicious. They had Passover wine which was about the best I have ever had. They have a very lush house to say the least. They had quite a lot of Oriental things which were very pretty — & the biggest television set I’ve ever seen!

I came home about 8 p.m. & since daylight saving has come in I could drive home in the daylight. I came home Skyline Blvd & there was hardly any traffic at all — I wish I’d gone up that way. It is really a nice way to go to the city.

Needless to say after all that activity of driving way up to the great, big City I’m a little bushed so will close now.

My love for you is like the ocean & sky — endless. And, best of all it always will be because you are all I want & all I ever will want in a husband.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Monday
14 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
276

Dear Jane,

For some reason nobody got mail toady. I wonder where they send it before it gets to me. The Speedwriting people have been showering me with their last offers fo months now. They have cut their price from $50.00 to $17.50 and there are a few other deals by which one can reduce the cost still further. It is all very interesting but I would prefer to have letters from you.

New pilots have been joining the Squadron in increasing numbers of late. There are about twenty-five out of the forty who are what you might call old timers. Rumors are getting more persistent that some of us may be relieved after this next ten day cruise. I hear that I will be among the first to get relief. There are only about six of us who came out on 14 August. Most of the remaining came out on 24 August. It is all very incouraging but I know enough about this life to know that you can expect many unusual and illogical things to happend to you.

The only reason I drew Mom those crude diagrams about carrier operations is because she asked this question: “Does a carrier move around all the time or does it anchor and remain stationary while you operate off of it?” That question betrays a complete lack of comprehension of what goes on I thought I would have to make a few explanations. Surely you know that a carrier steams around and that when a plance comes in to land the ship heads into the wind so that the plance can come aboard at a safe speed in relation to the flight deck. I believe I told you about a catapult shot which consists merely of hooking a cable to the front of the plane building up tension and then suddenly releasing the pressure with the result that the plane with the help of the full power of its engine is hurled into the air at flying speed in a very short distance. It works in some respects similar to a sling shot. In landing you have a hook which hangs out of the tail end of the plane and catches on one of five or six cables stretched across the after section of the flight deck. In this way you come to a fast stop in a very short distance. All this you would know just by looking at pictures in magazines and newspapers. When I get home I will give you a more dettailed explanation.

There is no news. We expect to sail on the 17th or 181th.

I love you more than ever before. You will have to fight hard to get rid of me. I’m sticking around with you for a long, long time to come. We are going to have our five kids too. If something doesn’t happen in a couple of months after I return we won’t waite any two or three years. We will get some medical assistance to speed the process up. Be a good rabbit and don’t worry, just keep saying your prayers.

Believe in me and true is me and I will believe in you and trust in you.

Mert

No. 266

Monday
May 14, 1951

Dearest Rab,

Two letters from my pink-eared rabbit today — Nos. 266 & 267 — goody. Nothing is as important to me as your wonderful letters. You say you are worried that I might commit adultery because you’ve been reading some books along that line. Well rab, please don’t worry about me because it is absolutely the farthest thing from my mind that you possibly imagine. As a matter of fact such a thing really never enters my head. I’m just not interested in anyone but you! I married you & that’s absolutely all I’m interested in — my own true pink-ears.

After my day out yesterday I was quite bushed. I stopped at Peggy’s & Bud’s as they’d asked me for a barbecue dinner. As usual it was really delicious. Bud had to go to his regular Monday night poker game & Peggy had to go to a meeting of the Los Altos Garden Club & so I cleaned up after dinner & got to put the dishes in the dishwasher — gee, what fun! Someday I really want a dishwasher. Peggy says it is really a wonderful timesaver. They have a Kitchen-Aid, of similar design to the Hotpoint, but I think I like it better. Oh well, someday I’ll have one — I hope.

Well, gosh, bunny wiggle I’m really tired & just have to go to sleep. But don’t you worry about me because I’m always a good true, blue bunny.

Incidently Mrs. Faulkner (the Acting Dean’s wife) called & asked me to a baby shower for Jeanne Allen Wednesday night. I’ll be interested to see that house now they have it furnished.

I love you very, very, very much.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Tuesday
15 March May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
277

Dear Jane,

No mail again today. This is the second day in a row with no mail. Gosh, how I like to get letters from you.

I read a newspaper article which quoted some officer’s letter to his wife. It sounded awful mainly, I believe, because none of the background was indicated. Don’t let any of my letters get talked about or printed. When they get out of context there are many unthinkable conclusions that can be drawn.

I stayed aboard today and tonight. One, I was tired of partying and two, my entertainment funds were going down rapidly. All these parties amount to are loud talk about nothing sensible and one drink after another. We go first to the Navy O’club which is right near the landing. After a few beers or martinis we catch a bus, walk or get a ride to the Camp Mower O’Club which is about a mile and a half up a hill from the Navy Club. Once there we sit and talk. Order drinks to build an appetite for dinner. Usually we buy a steak for $1.45. Then there are a few after dinner drinks. Soon it is 1030 and the Mower Cub closes. Most of us go back to the Navy Club but some go to the Officer’s Lodge, a Japanese club. About 1130 PM we catch a boat after a half hour waite or so and return to the ship. In the Wardroom we have toast, or coffee. All this time we talk and argue about asinine things. Every once in a while some one will get mad at some one else. There will be harsh words and threatened fights but it all blows over. Every one feels better after a dull evening like this. Some people go shopping but I don’t. Funny how some like to shop. I find shopping dull unless I’m looking for something.

I love you and only you forever. Be, as usual, a good rabbit and a lovey one with ears straight up [Image ID: a happy head of a rabbit, ears straight up.]

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 267

Tuesday
May 15, 1951

Dearest Rabbit,

Another old dumb day without you. Nothing out of the ordinary happened today — just work & tonight a puttered around the house.

There were two letters from you though to brighten up the day. Nos. 268 & 269. In No. 269 you are panicky that our debts won’t be paid by the time you get out of the service — well, I’ve been wondering if I should put, say, ^$100- out of the savings on the washing machine debt so that by Sept. 1^st it would almost be paid for, as well as the car debt out of the way on that date. Well, it was just a thought, so use your own judgment.

I’m really a bushed pink-eared rabbit tonight & hope that you will forgive me if I make this real, real short because I can hardly hold my eyes open. Naturally I love you & only you & always will, because I know that you love me just as much as I love you — & believe me, that’s an awful lot!

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Wednesday
16 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
278

Dear Jane,

Today again there is no mail. What bad luck‽ Today I am the Squadron Duty Officer. There is nothing to do but stay on the ship and be available if you are needed for some Squadron business. You always have to have some one on ship to take over the business while others are away. The SDO is the man through whom outside units have business contacts. Actually he is the Squadron Commanders Representative. Do you now know what an SDO is?

Yesterday and today have been damp and a little misty. Other wise the weather is fine.

So far I have taken two rolls of pictures. However, I only have one because now that I look for it to mail I can’t find it. This may be rather costly to your purse but then you are a business woman and have obviously counted the risks.

I have been reading a book called The Stock Market by Joseph Mindell. I rather enjoyed it. Very interesting hobby. A hobby much more in line with my natural bent.

It seems we have two more days in port. Then we are off for a ten day cruise. I hope then I go to Itami to be transferred to the States. Oh Boy. Once there I can re-engage in the hobby I like best of all, creating kids with you. When we get our production line rolling we ought to hit five in no time at all. I believe that in the past we have made enough experimental and training runs to give us good results quite soon.

I’ve decided to waite until 1 July to give Dad the ^$100 on our debt. It will be easier to calculate the interest. Also, I would like to adopt the policy of paying some of the principle every 6 months as well as the interest.

Well, lover you’ve written so many times you love me more than anybody else, that you are true, faithful and awful good I now believe you to the point were I don’t even or rather I haven’t had any sneaky feelings of worry. I just know now that you wouldn’t hurt me whether I knew or didn’t know I’m real good too.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 268

Wednesday
May 16, 1951

Dearest Rabbit,

Tonight I went to the Faulkner’s to a baby shower for Jeanne Allen. Their house is very nice now that they are in it, but not furnished nearly as nicely as I thought it would be. As a matter of fact they have the same kind of peel cane chairs in their living room as we have in ours, & unpainted furniture varnished in the bedroom so I really guess we’re not doing too badly. It was a very nice party & I was glad to meet Mrs. Faulkner & she was as I had expected — very, very nice but real, real mousy. Meow! She had bay wine with strawberries floating in it & cake for refreshments. I had never heard of bay wine before, but it certainly was delicious. I got Jeanne a real darling seersucker sack & waterproof pants to match set. She seemed very pleased & everyone wanted to know where I’d gotten it.

No letters from my favorite pink-eared rabbit today, but I really can’t complain, because they certainly have been coming regularly. Gosh, rab, do you really know how much I love you & think about you & dream about you? I just love to look at your pictures, & sometimes when I come home in the afternoon I just feel that you ought to be sitting out in the yard studying in the green chairs. It just seems that you ought to be there. But someday soon I hope you will again — sooner than I think — who knows? I really do love you more than you’ll ever know. I’m not ever interested in anyone else, & I just think about you & no one else — believe me!

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Thursday
17 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
279

Dear Jane,

Another day closer to you. I am glad to read that “fancy pants” Jane is working on paying our debts. Sometimes I have the feeling that you have grown to dislike debt as much as I do and that you, as I, seek to avoid it before it happens. I am also glad you have worked out a way to keep track of and pay bills.

You seem to have turned into a “party hound.” It does make me feel good to know you haven’t fallen in with evil or unreliable company.

Today I got a telegram from the phone company saying to call the Tokyo Overseas operator. Well, I went to the office and they told me that a Los Altos call had been cancelled at 350 AM 17 May. The call had been placed on 13 May. I got word of the call too late. You know, I was going to call you and was even in the office. Then I reconsidered. Look what I could get you for ^$15. Then I thought about how you said I should think with my heart a little more. Back and forth I debated. Then came your call. That did it; I was sure eager to talk to you. Then, my high spirits were dashed by the cancellation. Well, Pink Ears, I figure I’ll be home soon. I get more out of your letters than a phone call because I re-read all of them. I read every letter at least twice and many three times. No, I don’t read the ones pertaining to finances three times. I read the love letters three times. I like them. Why shouldn’t I like them? They come from the smartest, sweetest, most loveable rabbit that ever lived.

I guess we go out to sea on the 19^th. We may be back here on the 29^th; you never can tell. We may go to Kobe and then maybe not.

We are all in good spirits and we all want to go home. Lots of us have nice rabbits like you at home. I just want to be with the one and only rabbit—that’s you.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 269

Thursday
May 17, 1951

Dear Little Rabbit’s Wiggle,

Well, after all my running around this week I finally stayed home tonight, due, of course, only to the fact that I had no other invitations. Isn’t that rotten luck though?

At any rate there were two real nice letters from you & of course that always helps the day out considerably! And, I do mean considerably! However, one had your financial statement in it & you called me a “hair brain" & after I sent you those last statements I thought that I had improved considerably too! Well, there’s one thing I want to know about yours — you chalk off ^$2.⁷⁸ for a TAXI WINDOW! Ye gods, sonny, what did you do get drunk one night & break a taxi window or something? And, why didn’t you tell me about this before? Now, give me the whole story, Junior! God, it really sounds interesting to say the least! Boy do I want to hear about this one! Yak, yak, yak!

You also say I never talk about Buster, & only the cats. Well, I’m sorry that I have left Buster out. He is just the same — still jumps madly when I come home, still slides on the kitchen floor & acts generally nutz, altho’ he is a very good watchdog & companion. The only reason I brought him to school that Saturday was because everyone said that they didn’t think he’d be so wild if I took him more places with me, but it didn’t work too well, so I haven’t repeated it! Now, be assured I was not trying to impress anyone as there is absolutely NO one I want to impress! Fer gosh sakes why won’t you believe that I love you & only you & always will? You are the only one I want & the only one I dream about. You are always in my thoughts so don’t ever worry.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Friday
18 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
280

Dear Jane,

Today is the last day in port. Tomorrow we sail again. We are due in some port on the 29^th. We have 42 pilots so we should ease up on the number of hops per pilot. We had 33 or so before.

Tonight I am going in to pick up my green uniform. The dry-cleaner failed to live up to his one day service. He has now been out three days and no uniform.

The weather is ok but kind of cool. The harbor is very pretty. There is a great deal of green foillage (sp)?. Japan is very pretty this time of the year.

Some more legal work has come up. A Mexican drew a knife and made a 1/4 inch deep, two inch long cut in one man’s stomach. Apparently there is a debate as to who did it. There was a riot on a liberty boat which was returning from a ship’s party. About 50 men had a big free for all. Another man got mad and threatened another one which a bayonet. Apparently he was mad drunk at the time. Business is picking up.

That is about all that is new.

I love you as always. I say again: you are the smartest, sweetest most loveable woman in the whole world. Never worry about me. I’ll always be yours.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert

Here begins the last batch of missing letters.

Saturday
19 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
281

Dear Jane,

How do you like my new writing paper? Real sporty — eh what? I’ve got to buy some soon. Anyway what ever the kind of paper I want letters from you.

We put out to sea at about 0700. Here we are on the high seas again. We hear the Reds are driving again. We will stop them again and punish them worse than before. They should stop this for their own good and ours too.

Tonight I saw a show I liked a whole lot — Grounds for Marriage. Van Johnson and two beautiful brunetts were in it. I was sure reminded of you. How my heart longs for you. How much I need you. How much a real part of me you are.

Tomorrow I have one hop. It is a CAP over the Bataan area. If planes come while I’m up we are supposed to intercept them. Maybe I’ll get some planes. Well, I would rather come home to you than stay out here, planes or no planes. When I get the chance I’ll snap it up like a mad dog. There’ll be no holding me when they give the word to head for home. You are my one and only home. Just keep this home fires burning. You’ll never lack appreciation so don’t ever go off half-cocked. No matter what, it’s the two of us for the rest of the many years ahead of us.

Always be a good rabbit. I’ve never let you down and I never will. I guess I have funny ideas on that subject. Maybe you can get a feeling of security out of my ideas. I’m telling you I’m the most faithful lover rabbit that ever lived and it is really true.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.

Mert

A shame, really.

Sunday
20 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
282

Dear Jane,

This is the first day of operation. The CAP was long. The weather was hazy and most of the time we flew around in instrument weather. It is hard to keep track of your instruments and at the same time search for objects in the air or on the water. The water and the haze were the same color. Yorg and I were on this hop together. We have nine more days to go and then back to port. We hope we get relieved at the end of this cruise. We hope, hope, hope.

I am now interviewing on the threatened stabing case. So far this seems like it might be easy to prove but then you never can tell. I still have the stabbing case to study. I’m saving it till last so I can spend more time on it. After all a man was stabbed.

You are the prettiest woman in creation. How does it feel to be best of all? I love you because you are so wonderful.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.

Mert.

Coming up with little notes here has been kind of fun, though.

Monday
21 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
283

Dear Jane,

The weather kept us aboard. I continued to interview and write reports on the disturbances. They are quite tiring affairs. Sometimes I think people are nuts.

There is a new rumor. We are to stay at sea until June 5^th. Then we go to Kobe to off-load. Once there some of us will return to the States. I think I may be one of them. This sounds good to me but how about you?

I wonder what port I will go to in the States? Wonder if you could meet me if I landed in San Francisco? Wonder how I could let you know when? Maybe I will have some answers in June.

Believe me this is a dull life. There is so little doing there is consequently so little to write about.

Now if I were with you there would be a lot going on. At least when I was with you things were seldom dull. Sometimes too much was going on. There is one thing though, no matter how tired you get we are going to have a strenuous sex life from here on out. Ha. ha!

I can’t think of anything to write about. I’m kind of tired with all this writing and interviewing going on. Exercising the mind tires me. I guess anybody would be tired exercising the astounding brain power I possess. Don’t you think so? Come to think of it, just contemplating such a force tires me.

I have made myself a calendar on a piece of paper. I made it last March. Today I X’ed though May 21. Sort of like a prisoner keeping track of time. I would rather keep track of you, however.

Lover rabbit I still love you as ever. Soon I’ll be close to you and really doing a good job of loving.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert

It's almost time to say farewell.

Tuesday
22 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
284

Dear Jane,

One close air support hop at the front and that was all the flying I did. It sure is funny how the same guys over and over get newspaper publicity when most of the time they do nothing more than the rest of us. Sometimes the good things aren’t publicized. Also, I observe that some people can make the most ordinary thing sound big. Some people also have terrific imaginations. True, something did happen but when the embellishments are added the Public Information people gobble it up. Funny how the story writers go for lots of noise.

Medals are another thing that have me puzzled. Actually you can doctor anything up because the ordinary is pretty exciting and dangerous. I really don’t think anybody is brave in the sense that they weigh the possibilities. Until a person is dead he doesn’t think it will happen to him while he is doing it. Success is the only thing a person sees. Thoughts of danger never come at the time of action. You just don’t think of danger. You think of the danger preceding action to some extent and never after the action. Where then do medals come in. The ones that are earned come in two categories. Those who live are just too lucky for words and anyway secretly they figured they wouldn’t get killed. Those who die just didn’t believe or ever count on them being the one to get it. There is another area which goes from unearned to partially earned medals. In this group fall 98% of all medals. The presentation of medals for morale purposes enters, morale for the service men and for the civilians. The broad word morale in all its phases just about gives you the motive for medals. Thus, for that reason you decorate many people to really show that they have been some place at a given time and the fact that they did or did not do something out of the ordinary is irrelevant.

Another thing, sensitiveness about the medal runs inversely to merit. One who has earned it is seldom sensitive but those in the unearned to partially earned area fluctuate in degree of sensitiveness quite considerably.

The whole medal system is an interesting and practical tool. For some unknown reason one responds to it unconsciously yet knowing the falacy in the system. But then we have yet to meet anything that is ideal.

How now young Pink Ears? What of this long disertation?

Love you, love you, love you. That’s a lot of love for a little girl like you. Can you handle it? Be loving you in person soon. Can you handle that?

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 274

Tuesday
May 22, 1951

Dearest Rab,

Gosh, do you know I was so excited last night at the thought of you’re coming home soon I could hardly sleep — as a matter of fact I woke up several times — & I never do that! See how you affect me? Why gosh, it just hardly seems possible that you might actually have to appear here some day soon — it would just be so wonderful & exciting that I can hardly believe it! Oh, happy, happy day! Oh boy, oh boy — will this ‘wabbit’s tail ever be quite quavering!

Two letters today — Nos. 277 & 278. I noticed you are not looking using the typewriter anymore. When are you going to buy yours? Soon, I hope, because I’ve put notices up on the bulletin boards at ^$100- & I’ll see what happens. I’ll go down from there. I am really convinced that Royal is by far the best typewriter.

Listen here you careless rabbit, where in the heck did you put that roll of film? After all I paid good money for it, & it just seems you’d be able to hang on to a teeny weeny roll of film! How careless can some ‘wabbit’s get anyway. Better cough it up, son!

Tonight I asked the Roe’s (Clint’s) & Peggy Dermody over for a Canasta game but Peggy couldn’t come at the last minute because her niece has developed cancer & Peggy had to go to Alameda to be with her. I made pineapple nabisco & they thought it was really delicious & raved & raved. We played 3-handed & I won! They are very nice & seemed to have a real good time.

It is now 11:30 tho’ & I’m real sleeping so just have to close. But boy, bunny, do I ever love you lots & lots & can’t tell you how excited I get at the thoughts of your returning pretty soon! Oh, joy, bliss & happiness! (That's a real happy rab)

All my love & kisses & hugs,
Jane

Wednesday
23 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
285

Dear Jane,

Today was a two hop day. One hope was C.A.P. and the other was Reconnaisance in the Heiju area. Also, I flew my 100^th and 101^st combat mission. This thing seems to me to go on and on. Surely this can end happily some way. Could it not be that I have fulfilled my end of the Organized Reserve contract to everyone’s satisfaction. I feel that I have repaid them the ^$1800-^$2000 they paid me. I gave them my time and energy before Korea and now I have participated here. When the 21 months are up I feel that there will be an effort to keep us in longer because they paid us that huge sum. I would say they got a good return on their money especially when you consider the regulars whose end is the same as mine — fly here — were paid nearly ^$18,000 for the period I was an organized reserve. Also, they advance their personal career while I retard mine. Speaking of coolie labor this seems to be a good example. I know I’m slow but I’m smartening up fast. This kind of war could go on for ten years and some would expect that for ^$2000 we should stay in that long. Well now is the time to awaken people to the fact that the contract has a reasonable termination date. I must admit the Government drove a hard bargain and I am on the short end but I don’t feel that the public should feel that they can do this for an over extended period. The public can sit back fat and proud that they paid taxes and a few were caught for various reasons. I pay taxes as well as sit here. I feel it is time they got some one else to share these few billets and but I bet the public will scream because they will have to pay the full price and not the ^$2000 bargain price.

Love you a whole lot but the mood I’m in doesn’t leave much thought for love.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 275

Wednesday
May 23, 1951

Dear Rabbit,

No mail from a sweet pink-eared rabbit today, but maybe you have gone out to sea again & that means that you are the that much nearer to coming home, so us rabs can get our tails quivering together. Oh hot dog & happy day.

After work today I picked up Baby-cat & Cinder from the Vets. Cinder seems fine & dandy, but Baby-cat is the most pathetic thing you’ve ever seen in your whole life. She is nothing but skin & bones, & her legs look about 10 feet long because her body is so terribly thin. It really is a pitiful sight, & I hope all our old nasty neighbors are remorseful when they see that poor little Baby-cat. However, the Vet said that she should fatten up right away. It is, unfortunately, going to cost ^$56-, four dollars shy of my estimate of ^$60-. It seems just awful to have to pay that much, but I figure that we have been pretty lucky inasmuch as we never spent anything on our animals & most people spend quite a bit. It was either having the cats fixed or getting rid of them though.

Tonight there was a Tri-Delt meeting & I was in charge of the food. We had coffee & ice cream tarts. I thought they were very good refreshments & everyone else seemed to enjoy them too. This is the third time I’ve been in charge of food this year so I really feel I’ve done my part. It was a real long meeting & it’s now 11:30 so I’m really sleepy & must close now because after all I do have to get up & go to work tomorrow.

I love you, I love you, I love you & only you & always will.

Love & xxx & ooo,
Jane

Thursday
24 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
286

Dear Jane,

Another day another hop. Do you want to hear another rumor? We will be operating out here until June 3rd at which time we will return to Japan and debark. Once there at Itami some of us will get orders to the USA. I hope I am one. So it looks like if I can squeeze through about ten more hops I’ll have made it as far as this combat goes. My problems then will be not falling over curb stones or getting run down by automobiles. It all seems so close yet so far.

You ought to be thinking what we should do when I get out of service this time. Hope How about thinking up several workable plans so we can discuss them when we are in between loving, or you know what. Don’t just think up one plan and set your heart on it; think of several ideas which you think will work. I’m kind of busy and besides that if I come home with any plans you would say I had already made up my mind. So you start the ball rolling.

Tomorrow is re-supply day. We get to sleep in. The last three mornings I have gotten up at 0540 day light saving time.

Some people got mail the other day but I didn’t. Dr McCabe’s wife writes every day. She lives in [Pluma] I guess but he gets letters every time. Funny how the mailman discriminates against me or us. Doc claims he writes everyday. I suppose he does his his writing when I’m flying but I do see him write quite often.

I have observed that other fellows are writing a lot more than they did. I wonder if their consciences hurt. Maybe they are getting worried about the little wife. I’m glad I’ve written everyday because you know I think of you. You’ve heard me say again and again that I love you. Getting letters and writing them has given me the only security I have out here. I love you, love you.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 276

Thursday
May 25 24, 1951

Dearest Bunny,

Gosh, I’m just dead tired tonight because I’ve been out so many nights in a row, & it’s now 11 p.m. & the “girls” just left. Marie, Shirley Cameron & Bobbie Sanens came over for our little sewing circle. I served pineapple nabisco left over from Tuesday night & coffee & cakes. We had a real good time gassing & I enjoy all of them a lot.

One real nice letter from you today. You say you got a telegram telling you of a call from me, & then a cancellation. Well, that was the day after all my clothes got filled with the tar smoke & the neighbors were all yakking about the fact the cats drew males & yowled. I was real mad & frustrated & was going to ask you if I should have the cats fixed & what I should do if the clothes were ruined. But then, I decided it was silly to spend ^$20- more than I was already going to have to, so when I thought it over canceled the call, altho’ I would’ve liked nothing better than to talk to you. Incidently, I placed placed the call on the 12^th & canceled it on the 12^th. Those operators sure do get fouled up, don’t they?

Gosh, bunny, all I think about is that you may be home soon. It’s just so exciting I don’t know what to do.

I’m awfully sleepy & tired, but I love you lots & lots!

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Friday
25 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
287

Dear Jane,

First we re-supplied and then the weather got bad. No flying today. Nine more days to go. This seems to be the last cruise before we debark at Kobe; we hope.

I have made two reports. One on the riot and one on an argument between a Pfc and three Sgts. No action has been taken yet. Now I am starting on the stabing case.

The show last night was quite good but quite awful. You should see it. Joan Crawford is in it. The name is some this “Mrs Craig” or something like that.

Hocking, remember him form Boston, is at K-1. Haven’t seem him. Since I don’t expect to go to K-1 before I go home I guess I won’t see him. He probably drinks as much as ever. He is quite a party man. Too much for me. I’m the home type. I can remember how you used to force me out of the house on some jaunt of yours. Home is good enough for me.

There is nothing more to write. I’ve lost my wings. There seems to be a shortage of them out here. I’ve also lost my cigarette lighter. Such is life.

I love you more than words can tell. You are all I have or ever want. I’ll be true, loyal and faithful forever. Never worry about me. If people ever tell you you can never trust a man just laugh at them because you can trust me and never get hurt. I’m all yours and no one else’s.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 277

Friday
May 25, 1951

Dearest Baby,

No letters from a small rabbit today, but I can’t complain because lately I’ve really fared very well.

Today it was 96° & oh boy was it hot, & I do mean hot! Gosh, yesterday it wasn’t very hot at all, but today it really warmed up & did it's stuff! Marie Knowlton asked me to go to the Spring Sing with them, but it was just so hot & I was so tired that I declined. I came home & washed my hair & altho it’s only 7 p.m. I’m so tired & sleepy I don’t know hardly what I’m writing. I’m really bushed & I do mean bushed so I hope you will forgive me if I make this real short & snappy

Don’t ever worry that I don’t love you lots & lots because believe me when I say I do & you are all I live for & all I love. You & only you.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Saturday
26 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
288

Dear Jane,

Again the weather was bad. The fog was real thick. No flying today. Eight more days to go. I really think I will go to Itami and then get orders to the States. I’ll be kind of disappointed if it doesn’t work out that way.

There was more work. I am now on the stabbing case. It sounds bad but the injury is very slight. The fellow really shouldn’t have pulled a knife. People are odd. My interview technique is getting better. It seems now I am getting more information which is to the point in a shorter time. I interviewed 21 people about the riot. On the bayonet case I talked to six more. I may even be developing a detective instinct.

Doc McCabe is very sensitive about the fact his wife has been married before. The 16 year old daughter is by his wife’s first husband. Her pictures show she is very pretty as is his wife. I never thought that which happened in the past would worry a guy. Even if a gal was a prostitute some time in the past doesn’t mean that she is now or would be in the future. What counts is what happened after the marriage. At that point you walk the narrow path. I believe that applies to the fellow also. Even if you had been married several times before I met you I would still have married you. It’s what you do now and in the future as my wife the means something to me. I guess he just feels that way because he feels that way.

I’m sure looking forward to getting home. Then I can be with my little Pink Ears. Boy, I’ll give up you the best of all possible lovings. I think about it more and more. What a time that will be. I just hope all works out well and there are no problems to contend with. But if I know our luck this or that will happen to frustrate us and make us a little less happy than we could be. Why do so many unfortunate things seems to be small thorns in our feet? If it isn’t one thing it is another.

I love you as always and always will. I’m your lover boy. You never need worry about my being true, loyal and faithful. There never has been a better boy away from his little wife. You ought to have that to make you happy. I hope it does. It’s the least I can do for you.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert

Maybe Buster ate this letter.

Sunday
27 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
289

Doc McCabe’s work! He slobbers when he speaks.
[Image ID: an arrow pointing at words in the first paragraph. The words affected by Dr. McCabe’s slobber are the ‘a’ in ‘again,’ the ‘nk’ in ‘think,’ the ‘ill’ in ‘will,’ and the word ‘go.’]

Dear Jane,

The weather had us on the ground again today. Nothing much doing. Tomorrow I think it will clear up. There are 7 more days to go.

There is a new fellow named Capt Bender. He was in 235 at Squantum. He was in the Squadron after I left. He knows our boy Albert E. Hocking. Hock is a Major now. Bender says Hock is the same old Hock. I thought you would like to know Hock is now at K-1 in VMF 323. Remember how much you liked Hock? You were particularly fond of him when he got me in a bar and forced me to become soused. After all I had to be civil and if being civil meant getting pie eyed, well, anything for civility.

That show with Joan Crawford was Harriet Craig. Thank gosh you are a wonderful, sweet, kind, good natured Pink ears. The more I think about it the more I realize how lucky I am to be in love with little old you. I love you so much there hasn’t been a gal who even came close to interesting me in being a bad boy. I’ve sure got to hand it to love because it sure is the strongest force I’ve ever come in contact with. It is now 9 1/2 months since I’ve seen you or loved you, yet the power you have over me has grown stronger and stronger. Jane, baby, you’ve really got a guy in love with you. I wouldn’t say this if I didn’t know knew it were not true. (Too many negatives in that sentence.) (I can’t make sense out of it.)

My poor little old heart just cries for you. I suppose a wife wants to be loved by her husband but baby I’ve got a mad passion for you. You’d never find a man who loved you more or who was more loyal and faithful than I.

You will have to be awful mean to ever get me to the point where I’ll leave you. I’m married to you and I’m sticking to you like something you’ve never seen before. Of course, if you slept with another guy that would hurt so badly I’d never be the same again and I’d never see you again. As for me, I’d never, never be untrue. I’d never sleep with any gal no matter what I know how I’d be hurt and I’m just not so cruel as to cause a hurt like that in you.

Love you, pink ears, like you’ve never been loved before. It is just you and I forever and ever.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

Perhaps Cinder ate this one.

Monday
28 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
290

Dear Jane,

Got up at 0540 this morning. I flew around 1430. We went over near the [Hanchon] reservoir, the one that was torpedoed. It looks as thought the Chinese are really getting punished this time. We worked with a large column advancing north. It looks as though the Chinese and NK’s will be cut off in large numbers. They seem to have lost their organization. They made a break-through but again they couldn’t get supplies to their advanced unit so those units had to fold. No supplies means you can’t fight.

There are six more day to go. Austin Brenneman a 1^st Lt in our Squadron was killed today. He was shot down near Anak. Our total is now ten killed and four slightly injured. All together we have lost some 30-35 planes in our Squadron.

I am still working on the stabbing case. Ought to be through with it tomorrow.

There is no news about anything. We resupply on the 30^th. Hope to get some letters form you. I need them.

I can hardly waite until I get home. Even the trip home seems too long. The trip may take ten days or more if I go by ship. I think we will go by ship. Maybe by plane but doubt it.

Still as yesterday, I’m sure in love with you. Never was a smarter, prettier more wonderful woman than you. You are perfect as far as I’m concerned. No one else can come close to being as nice and lovey as you are.

Again and again I write you that I’m a good boy and so is Jr. never strayed off the straight and narrow. Don’t worry this rabbit is true blue.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

Wouldn't it be funny if Baby-Cat ate this one?

Tuesday
29 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
291

Dear Jane,

The weather closed in again. There seems to be an awful lot of fog this time of year. My little calendar shows that we have five more days of operation. The way I keep harping on the number of days left and the way I keeping x ing them out I guess you have the idea that I desire to come home to you. Baby, there never was a guy who wanted to get home more than I do. If you ever had any doubts about me wandering around away for you I guess all those doubts have been dispilled by now. I only wish I could know the eternal truth; that you love me as dearly as I love you; that you have no desire for any part of any other man as I desire no part of any other woman. When you are in love you are kind of helpless because you must depend on another; that other has the power to create or destroy you. Some how there is not enough certain ness in life. You have to trust and believe or else you fall apart under various vibrations. I’ve gotten to the point where I trust and believe only good things about you because I’ve found that doubt slowly destroys everything inside of you. One can’t live under the pressure of doubt. One has to trust because your existence depends on it. Your are at the complete mercy of the one you love. How awful it must be to love someone who does not have the same beliefs and standards you have. How terrible it must be to have your trust and belief shattered by some sordid fact. I have gotten to the point where I need you; I can not survive without you. Suddenly I realized what a devastating blow it would be to me if another man were to love you and you love him. Then I remembered how you told me over and over how you loved me. I remember your tears and my lack of understanding. Suddenly all your terrors are before me. To love and to wonder if you are loved by the one you love. Now I know the feeling. Never will I break your trust or belief for I never want mine broken. I have done no act which would hurt you like that. I pray you have kept me from hurt like wise.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

Really wish we knew what Jane was thinking today....

Wednesday
30 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
292

Dear Jane,

Another day of bad weather. The weather prevented the supply ship from coming along side. So, no mail from you. There are four more days to go. Soon I feel I will be headed home. At least, at the end of four days I think I will be on the first leg home. Floating around out here can’t be classified as a leg home.

Today I wrote to Mom & Dad, also the McCalls. They wrote me recently so I replied. I’m writing your mother tomorrow if the weather is bad. What have you heard from your mother. Does she point out what a fool you’ve been? Well, maybe you have been for hooking up with me. In exchange for all you’ve done you have possession of all the love one man has, that’s I. You see I love you completely, totally and all the way. At least, you have me madly, passionately in love with you. If a woman likes to be loved you sure have love. Whatever else, you don’t have to worry about your husband loving you or whether he is true, loyal and faithful. You can say with confidence you’ve got your man. I wonder how many women would like to be able to say that with confidence? About any old man much less one that is handsome, rich and charming. At workt worst I’m an old rake but you’ve got a rake caught in your snare and he loves it and he loves you.

Haven’t I been writing the love letters though? Do you like them or do you think I’m crazy? Heck, they are love letters. I really feel what I’m writing. There’re sincere. Maybe I’m giving you the wrong pitch. Instead of the truth maybe I should leave you in suspense and anxious about whether I really love you. Maybe that would put more fervor in you for me, trying to hold me. Maybe you would have more passion for me if I weren’t quite such a sad eyed dog worshiping you. Maybe you’ll get too confident and play around. But this rabbit just plain loves you.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

Last missing letter! YAY!

Thursday
31 May 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
293

Dear Jane,

The weather cleared up slightly. The supply ship came along side. Two wonderful letters from the most beautiful, loveable, intelligent rabbit alive. Boy, do I go for letters from you. I’d rather have them than eat a tenderloin steak or do anything else out here.

My calendar shows that there are three more days of operations, weather permitting. I flew one hop today. The weather was marginal. It was hazy and very hard to see. It was practically instrument flying. We were looking for some reported anti-aircraft guns a little west of Yonan. I found a gun emplacement which looked like this: [Image ID: a triangle] on the hill where it should have been. Capt Bender and I screwed up our courage and dove in on it, strafing as we dove and then let our 500 # bombs go. We didn’t get a direct hit but close enough to shake the hell out of the place. Then I went back to take a close look. Well, I’m not sure but I think it was a dummy gun position. It was all dressed up, even with what looked like three gun barrels, probably sticks of wood. It was ironic because after so many experiences you tread lightly, so to speak, around AA batteries. They don’t open up on you unless they figure they have you [bare]-sighted. So gingerly we skirted the area looking for the reported position. Then came this position seen from a little way out. Now you don’t go poking around close to 20 mm or 40 mille-meter guns; you just learn to spot them from a distence then suddenly [hone] in on them strafing way out in about a 45º dive until bomb release altitude. Well, after all this sparing around, figuring how best to hit it, we let it have the one-two punch. All in vain, I fear, because I think the rats sucked us in on that ruse. Actually, the only tricks the Reds fool us on are their AA positions. All other positions we go in close, check and cross check. You don’t go in and cross check AA positions until you figure they can’t shoot back.

Enclosed is my statement for May. Love you dearly always and for ever.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 283

Thursday
May 31, 1951

Dearest Wabbit,

Oh boy, 7 big fat letters from you today & now I am much happier since I’ve heard from you! Gosh, it’s nice to get your letters, even if some of them are awfully sad missiles. Poor rabbit, it makes me sad when you’re sad, & sort of sick down in the pit of my stomach.

You say you think you will debark on June 3, & I have put a call into you for that time because to say the least things are in a mess at the office & if I can possibly know 2 weeks before you are coming things could be put in better shape — at least I could give them 2 weeks warning — that we might have to close the office. I am afraid if I do not call you, you maybe won’t let me know just before you leave. Oh gosh, rab I just get weak all over when I think of your coming home. The whole point is that I want to meet you when you come in whether it be San Diego, L.A., S.F. or Seattle; & today was Charys’ last day & I’ve been looking for 6 weeks for a replacement & have had absolutely NO luck — no one wants to work for ^$185- or even ^$200-. There are too many other jobs that pay lots more. The whole campus is in the same spot I am — lots of jobs & NO applicants. I’ve had exactly 3 in the last 6 weeks. All lousy. Also, the new Dean is coming to July 1^st — Whitaker, who is Dean of Graduate Study now. Can’t say I’m real enthused, but then that’s life.

Chris & Ceilie & I took Charys to Allied Arts for lunch this noon. It was really nice sitting outdoors — too bad we had to go back to work tho.

Oh golly rab, am I ever excited about your coming home — oh joy, bliss & happiness. Oh boy, oh boy! Say, boy your stabbings really sound interesting! Good gravy if it isn’t a jeep wrecker or divorce it’s something like a stabbing! You ask me how I’ll like you’re coming home — silly boy — you’ll found find out when a sex-starved wolfess attacks you, until both you & Jr. are panting, gasping, & begging for a let-up — yak, yak! You’ll see! Bet we’re too tired rabs for about a month! You won’t be tired from strenuous mental exertion, just from hard, physical output!

You went into a long dialogue on publicity, metals, bravery, etc. I suspect something was behind it, either somebody else did & you didn’t or vice versa or something unusual. Quite frankly the monologue left me sort of in the dark. My sentiments have always been the same as yours on Reserves & Regulars — it’s just a damn dirty trick & I have no sympathy for any Regular.

Who in the heck is Dr. McCabe? He seems to be your buddy or something - I bet you keep him busy on the medical end too, boy. I feel for him — po’ boy!

Gosh rab, it’s real late because I did a whole lot of marketing & after 2 nites of 12 I’m awfully tired & sleepy.

Boy, do I love you! Just wait until you get home & will we ever have a hot time in the old town! Yipee — our tails will be thump, thump, thumping & will be love, love, loving all day & nitz!!!!!!

All my love & kisses,
Jane