June Letters
Mert
June 1, 1951
Friday
1 June 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
294
Dear Jane,
Another day has gone by. Two more operating days left. Then I hope to the US I go. Well, I can hope anyway.
One hop, CAP, which was very dull. Nothing much new about the war and I’ve run out of war stories.
On the 4th I’m scheduled to fly to Itami. We will meet the ship at Kobe. Wonder why they don’t leave us on the ship so we can go to the States with it?
Today I’m real tired. I’m going to the show at 2100 and then right to bed. I think I will take a nap now. It is 1955.
I’ve decided to buy some presents but not for any particular person. I’ll get enough and then let you decide what goes where. These presents will cost a pretty penny.
As each day goes by I get more and more eager to be with you. There’s a little sex life I want to catch up on. I’m told that, surprising as it may be, you catch up awful fast. That is a terrible thought. It won’t take us long to start our family — Just as long as it takes to get close to you— ha, ha! um! boy!
I love you a whole lot and you know it. Be a good rabbit. You will never regret it because I’ve been and am as good as good can be. Be seeing you soon and talking to you shortly after a pause that will refresh. Hot dog! Bet you can’t guess what it is on my mind.
Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert
June 2, 1951
Saturday
2 June 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
295
Dear Jane,
I really wonder if when I get to Itami I will get orders to the States. I really hope so. Remember how you thought I ran away from you? How you wondered to me if I would volunteer to stay out here longer? Baby, you sure underestimated your power. I hadn’t gotten outside the boundary of El Toro on that train than when I began to think of getting back to you. The thing that has always puzzled me has been your lack of certainty that I really loved you. Maybe I can’t express myself to you personally but in letters I can sit and think about how I feel. You know, I think I was embarrassed to tell you how much I loved you. Why in the world I was embarrassed I’ll never know. Maybe I’m shy and don’t know myself that I’m shy. Strange isn’t it? Maybe I thought that letting you know how much I depended on you and how much I needed you was an expression of weakness. Maybe, of because I wasn’t created physically superior in strength here was a way I could show the steel edge of my courage. Really, all I did was hurt myself more because all I wanted to do was to tell you that I loved you way below the surface of the skin and that my sex desires were only a part of a complete picture. Funny too are the times I lay beside you and desperately wanted to have our sex but because of some off chance remark of yours that all I wanted was satisfaction I did not touch you and this at times went on for at least two weeks — young and as full of vitality as we were. What is odder still is the secret anger and resentment I nourished for long periods of time, not now however, because I thought you didn’t realize how I felt. You were always able to express how you felt but idiodic me I figured that you ought to be able to guess or you just simply ought to know. I must have thought you had a crystal ball or something that could see inside of me. If I never let you know you hurt me by some word or action how else were you to know? Many, many have been the times when I and I alone knew that our squabbles arose from no more than some inner resentment I alone bore. Somehow I expected you to know how deep and sincere my feelings were and yet I would never tell you. Sometimes I wonder what is the matter with me.
Inspite of all that in the past, I’ve been able to write letters which are closer to the way I feel but I believe that if I had never been forced to write like the present circumstances force us to write you might never have known that I dearly love you, that I will sacrifice anything and everything I have to make our marriage last, that I would see myself dead before I would have an affair or sexual intercourse with another woman.
There is more that I believe with every fiber of my body and soul. For me you are the most beautiful and appealing woman that has ever lived. Sex life with you is the most wonderful, actually spiritual, experience I have ever felt. You have more common sense and intelligence than any other woman I have ever heard about. When I think of you I think of a Goddess who is to be worshipped yet who is human and earthy. I think of you as a mother of children who would grow strong in all respects — under your love and training.
With feelings as strong as these maybe, just maybe, you can see the extent to which I could be hurt. Maybe, you can understand my fears and jealousies, you have said I never trusted you and you have informed me that you were my wife, not a kept woman etc. How can you say I don’t trust you when I have placed every bit of my love in your hands to be treated as you see fit?
Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.
June 3, 1951
Sunday
3 June 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
296
Dear Jane,
This is just a short note to say all is well. I’m packing. I’m on the fly-away tomorrow if the weather permits. We fly to Itami.
By the way, my buddies have thought of a new joke. Since the Doc dispenses all the condoms, (rubbers) to help prevent disease some one thought up the wonderful joke of throwing a couple of packs in my foot locker while I was packing but not looking. I found two of them but God knows what else the practical jokers thought up. I thought I’d better tell you on the spot rather than waiting and trying to get that lead balloon type joke to get air borne when I unpack in your presence. Ha, some joke, it scared me.
Tomorrow or the next day I will write some plans I have if I land in S.F. or San Diego or Seattle. Why can’t you meet me at the dock if we go to SF? But you see we need some coordinated plan so we will both know what the other is going to do if a given eventuality happens. More about this later.
Love you very much. Hope you understand a little of #295. Anyway I really do love you and only you.
Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert
June 4, 1951
Monday
4 June 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
297
Dear Jane,
The fly-away day. From the Bataan to Itazuki, near Fukuoka. On the date line above I put Bataan because each day as I finish a letter I set up the date and number for the next day. I wasn’t sure I would be here today. The weather is bad between here and Itami so here we stay for the night.
I am SDO so I can’t carouse in the bar. I’ve been standing in the bar to handle our difficult people, if they get difficult. “They love us where-ever we go.” Boy have we established a reputation for ourselves where-ever we go clubbing. Never have I seen club-officers, waitresses and regular patrons so glad to see a group of people crawl back in their hole as they have sighed in relief as the Bataan pulls out to sea. Actually, the fellows aren’t bad they just get drunk and noisy. So now when we visit bars we have a duty officer to protect our interests.
I sometimes get a glimps of why other services don’t like Marines. I must say at least one of us gives them a bad time every night. I have noticed though a similarity in the people who argue and get mad at us. Very rarely do we get a rise out of any Army or Air Force boy who is in a tactical unit in Korea. We have developed a mutual admiration society. Not only that but they get loud, noisy and slightly drunk like we do. We have operated close enough and long enough with other tactical units to see with our own eyes the good job they have done. The people we do get in trouble with are the Army’s and Air Force’s rear echelon personnel. The Army and Air Force tactical personnel also get into trouble with them — at the club, of course.
Marine rear echelon personnel are not of the same type as other services. Our rear echelon people are refugees from a tactical unit or they are headed for one. We have therefore very few “plank owners” ie, personnel who stay in Japan forever and ever and [corner] the rooms at Rest Hotels, transportation, good living quarters or servants.
I think I am going to get relieved — 6 of us including Yorg — at Itami. If so, I will end up with 10 months plus and 107 missions. The whole bunk of us have at least 100 missions. I really will feel sorry for those who are going back to K-1. But I left on 15 August and they left on 24 August. Maybe now you will see that getting out as early as I could will pay off with more total time with you. I hope so. If so, I’ll never let you hear the last of it, particularly, that slug in the face you gave me two nights before I left. Now don’t think I’m bitter about that because really I understood and I hurt inside too. But I’ll tease you no end. Ha, ha! Remember I love you a lot more than a slug in the face. by you for going over-seas. I tried to express the way I felt in a letter a few days back. The only thing that would drive me out is fooling around with other men and then I would leave not because I didn’t love you but because I couldn’t stand the hurt. Now that I’ve had all this time to think about us, I’m going to do my best not to hurt you by anything I do or say. I’ll never again tease you about your love; now I know that was cruel. I’ll never question your love again. If you would treat me the same way I sure would like it.
Soon as I learn more about where I’m going I’ll write soon.
Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert
June 5, 1951
Tuesday
5 June 1951
Itami, Japan (I hope)
298
Mert
June 6, 1951
6 June 1951
Itami, Japan
299
Mert
June 7, 1951
7 June 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
300
sging sign advertising your birthday. Are you angling for a present? If you are you are very lucky that you sent the notice because I had forgotten. How can I forget such things? When I get to Yokosuka I will have a lot of shopping to do. You statement also came. I’m glad to see that you are keeping track of everything. As usual with us things will be as tight as ever.
Mert
June 8, 1951
8 June 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
301
Mert
June 9, 1951
9 June 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
302
Mert
June 10, 1951
10 June 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
303
Mert
June 11, 1951
11 June 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
304
$51.00 $15.00 we will have the best bar in Los Altos.
Mert
June 12, 1951
12 June 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
305
Mert