April Letters

Sunday
1 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
233

Dear Jane,

Enclosed is my accounting statement for March. I assume you have one on the way. Would you fill yours out the way the one I send is filled out.

The weather was bad today so we didn’t fly. Tomorrow we will be in the operating area. The war goes on.

I should be home within the next three months. That seems like an awful long time doesn’t it?

The latest joke aboard is as follows:

Joe: Do you know what one ball said to the other?
Moe: No
Joe: What the hell are we hanging for? It was that slim fellow who did all the shooting.

The above joke is classified as dirty in case you don’t get it.

I’ve been reading a horrible story, Madwoman. It is about a gal who is locked up in an insane asylum so her husband doesn’t have to divorce her and lose 1/2 the property and at the same time he can chase around and lay all the broads he can find. People don’t critisise him too severely because after all his wife is in an insane asylum and it seems fair that he should get some sex someplace — poor fellow. It is quite a story to make you shudder. I don’t like it but it is fascinating in a way. What way I’m not sure. Don’t worry, I’ll never do this to you.

I just live for the day I’ll be home with you and we can love together again. There never was a more faithful, loyal fellow than I am to you. I may not be much but I’m all and completely yours. Maybe that has some value in it for a gal. If I could love you more than I do now I know I would burst. It just isn’t possible for one to love another anymore than I love you. You are all my dreams, hopes and desires wrapped up in one little blue-eyed lady. You mean so much to me that if anything ever went wrong with our marriage I know I’d never be the same again and the hurt would be unbelievable. Be a good rabbit and never do anything to hurt me because I haven’t and never will do anything to hurt you. I don’t go for the old baloney that what you don’t know won’t hurt you because it does hurt when you don’t know and it only hurts worse when you do find out.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you
Mert.

No. 223

Sunday
April 1, 1951
(April fool?)

Dear Wab,

Say incidently, have your ears been standing straight up lately? Mine stand pretty straight most of the time except on days like when I see Wendell Garton back & your not. But, I guess that’s life & the g-d- Marine Corps.

Well, Roger had what I thought was a real brilliant idea today. He has an extra camera which he got in Germany & thought that you could use it if you cared too. If we buy the film & you take the pictures, he will develop them free & make two prints, one for us & one for them. This sounds like an excellent idea to me if you have not already bought yourself a camera. I gave Roger ^$6- enough to buy 6 rolls of film at ^$1- each. He said this ought to give you a good start. He is sending the camera & film to you, & also wrote a letter to tell you just how to operate the camera. I think this is a real, good idea & hope you approve. I suppose you will know that pictures of temples, shrines, the people & the streets & scenery in general would be most interesting to us poor unfortunates who will probably never see Japan. But I know you have enough sense to take interesting pictures. Wendell had a black cloth covered book which he said he’d gotten in the PX in Tokyo which had about 12 pamphlet type books in it on the different phases of life in Japan. Most of the pamphlets were pictures with a short description of each pamphlet in front. The photos were wonderful & I was extremely interested in seeing it. He had quite a few pictures he’d taken which were also interesting.

This Afternoon after we’d finished breakfast about noon I sewed a while on my dress that I started to make in the Singer sewing class, & about that time we had dinner. We had ministrone (Italian stew), salad, cake & ice cream, etc. & I left about 4:30 p.m.

On the way home I stopped to see Mrs. Reinertsen, the Drs. wife, in Berkeley & what a character she is (& always was.) But we had a nice chat. She is terribly impressed with RANK, which I at always makes me laugh, because to say the least he has never been terribly successful as a Dr. They have a nice enough home, but certainly no mansion. She is & always has been a terrific social climber. Nevertheless, I do think she is terribly lonesome, & all the more so because she doesn’t drive. At any rate I did my duty as my mother has been hounding me for a long time to go & see her.

It was a very clear night & the lights going across the Bay Bridge were truly spectacular & beautiful & I enjoyed the ride home.

When I got home No. 226 was waiting for me from yesterday’s mail. Gosh, I thought you’d like to have those pictures of me, but you sounded as if you didn’t. What an old pill you are.

Gosh, I’m real sleepy & tired now so will close. I love you dearly & only you & it will always be that way so don’t worry about me. You’re everything I want or ever will.

All my love & xxxx,
Pink Ears

Monday
2 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
234

Dear Jane,

Not much to write about today. Two more hops. One was a CAP and the other was CAS. A CAP is a Combat Air Patrol over the ship. You just sit up there waiting to be directed where to go by the radar people. Every once in a while they send you out to investigate something they find on their instrument. A CAS is a Close Air Support job. We went a little north east of Uijonbo (sp) which is a few miles north of Soul. We have been getting some good hops lately.

After two hops I’m kind of bushed. So I’m cutting this letter a little short.

I can still write that you are the sweetest, nicest, cutest, most wonderful little baby that ever lived. I mean every word of that too. I love you so much and when I think about it I just squirm inside. Damndest feeling I’ve ever had. Can you remember the day when I was the aloof rather cool rabbit you first met. You sure have changed me. It has been slow but sure and I like feeling this way and writing love letters or best of all making love to you. If I had to do all over again I’d marry you but only sooner, right after the first date. Why did we waite 6 months anyway? In one respect we didn’t waite that long but if I’d had half a chance I’d of started that much sooner too. So there. When you’re made for each other the Lord just tells you and when He tells you like he told us why did we fool around waiting? Oh, well.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 224

Monday
April 2, 1951

Dear Bunny—

Well, you certainly wrote me a letter to top all letters & I am not, to say the least very pleased, but I suppose that you have your bad days as I do & No. 228 was one of your bad days.

To begin with you admonished me for the night I got the car & got tipsy at Ceilie’s. I do not like your statement to the effect that you have your doubts as to the good hands I was in. To begin with both Ceilie & Kirk have been most understanding of my lonesomeness, have invited me over innumerable times, have stopped in to see me frequently & I would say in the long run have been the nicest to me of anyone. Not to mention the two times they have picked me up at the air port (once, after I’d been to El Toro & again at Christmastime). If you would only stop & think instead of pig-headedly going along you would realize the only reason Ceilie gave me 3 old fashions was to celebrate the new car as it is quite frustrating to have something new & not be able to let off steam with anybody. You would also realize that if I had not drunk so little since you’ve been gone I probably wouldn’t have been sick on 3. I wonder how many times you’ve gotten drunk in the last 8 months? If it’s been only twice I’d be surprised. Also, I am sure you keep drinking all the time & I don’t keep telling you that I think in a weak moment you will lay another woman. Why do you think I’m any weaker than you are? Why don’t you trust me as I trust you. When I went to bed at Ceilie’s she had no idea the company was coming as they just dropped in. When I woke up & had to flip my cookies I had to get to the bathroom fast & didn’t have time to put my dress on. Ceilie put me to bed because she didn’t think I’d better drive our brand-new car home. Why on earth don’t you mature & grow up, & trust me? I certainly do not appreciate the implication that I might err while I’ve had a little to drink, & that you can drink all you want & that’s O.K. Just remember you & I are 30 years old now & I think it’s about time you act like a mature man instead of a little boy.

Quite frankly it seems to me that if we are as hard up as you say we hardly need a radio in the car & I do not propose to get one. It would seem much more sensible to me to take that ^$100- & put that toward paying off the car or buy some furniture or a vacuum cleaner & used electric sewing machine (rebuilt ^$37⁵⁰). However, I think the wise thing is to put it on the car payment — it would almost be a month’s payment. I will take the money out of your checking account & put it in my savings as it is being eaten up in the checking acct by bank charges. The additional insurance is ^$27⁹⁰ which I have written a check for. I will call the bank tomorrow to find out have I exercise the Power of Attorney. I also want you to understand that I thought I had explained to you that I would much rather have had the household gear, but after talking to a lot of people, including your father, & they all thought we’d better get a car as they would be the first things to go. Jimmy told me the other day that all the cars were now coming in without spare tires. I tried to make the decision between appliances vs. car sensibly & I asked you just what you thought of it before I did anything & you had ample opportunity to tell me “No” so I do not appreciate your belligerent, dictatorial attitude.

Quite frankly I am beginning to realize that you do not appreciate me or what I’ve done at all. I have always heard that men never appreciate the wife that works for them. Just remember that for almost 4 years I’ve been doing two jobs — something I know you never would do. When you begin working I am quite sure you won’t come home & get dinner every night & spend every evening washing, ironing, etc., & then spend every day each week-end working all day. You know & I know you wouldn’t do this, & then when I was tired & cross I certainly didn’t get too much understanding. Of course, you always had plenty of vacations, & if I didn’t, why you never were very concerned or never worked very industriously to help me do extra things around the house. Altho you had plenty of time to go to Hal’s, etc. Quite frankly, Mert, I feel I’ve contributed more than my share with very, very little help, understanding or sympathy. Now, of course, you say that we will not have much of a vacation when you return & as usual I expected you to [renege]. Of course, as usual, you will have just returned from excitement & probably a 2-week ocean voyage to boot. Just remember I’m the one who has stayed home alone while you went flitting off to do your pleasure; your the one who’s had the excitement & of course will probably not need a vacation. It seems to me that in the last four years most of your desires & pleasures have been fulfilled. You wanted to go to school & went; you wanted to stay in the Marine Corps & did. I wanted children, & to stop working & neither have been culminated as far as my score board shows. How does your balance sheet & scoreboard stack up? I’d be interested to know. If you aren’t careful Mert your going to have a king-size revolt on your hands & I’m not fooling. I’ve tried like hell to be fair & help you out, but I do not feel you have tried to meet me halfway. Each week was a struggle to get you to clean the bathroom & if you ever wiped the dishes it was a major Victory. I’ve tried Mert in the hardest & best way I know how & more than that I can’t do as I’m not superhuman & certainly feel I deserve a good, long vacation. Remember I’m not an old workhorse but your wife. I have also developed a case of eyestrain that the P.A. Clinic tells me will not clear up until I stop using my eyes so much. This causes my eyes to always be quite badly bloodshot & I got sick headaches quite often even with my glasses. Of course, it is not serious, but nevertheless present & annoying.

I’m sorry if I have not pleased you, but I do expect to be treated as a wife & consulted, as I consult you, on subjects that affect both of us, i.e., the decision on your part to go overseas & that whole fiasco.

Am I completely on the wrong track in my above observations? I would appreciate your comments on my points & not just a blank & ignoring of the subject(s).

I love you, Mert, & have always have since our first date, & god knows I’ve tried as hard as I know how because I do love you so very much but would like to be given a little credit for having some intelligence & feelings instead of just being a dame.

With all my love & kisses,
Jane

Tuesday
3 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
235

Dear Jane,

Today has been quite easy. Ony one hop. The show tonight was Black Rose. It was fair.

New Joke:

First Bride: “Does your husband snore?”
Second Bride: “I don’t know; we’ve only been married a week.”

Boy are these letters getting sad when I have to write things like that. Here’s this one:

“And then there was the absent minded nurse who made the patient without disturbing the bed.”

How is that for a good one!

Here’s the best one of all though:

“The athletic gear locker is open in port. Make use of it to keep yourself fit.”

Well, that just about does me in. Gee, this life is getting monotonous. Up at 5 AM and to bed at 1030 PM. That seems to be all there is to it.

Tomorrow I have two hops scheduled. It seems even the hops are dull. I’m ready to come home to my one and only rabbit. There is no other love in my life and there never will be. You are just right for me. Never have a seconds doubt about me. I squak and complain when my joints ache but anger will never be more than skin deep. After all you are wonderful to fight with. That’s the trouble I like to do everything with you. Well, lover, this is all there is to write.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 225

Tuesday
April 3, 1951

Dearest Bunny,

I called the bank today to find out about closing out your checking acct. Mr. Fischer told me that I had to get a Certified Copy of the Power where I had it recorded at the County Clerk’s office. I called the Clerk’s office & found the Certified Copy cost ^$1.⁴⁰ so I sent the request off. ^$1.⁴⁰ seems quite a bit to me but I guess there’s nothing else to do.

Today Patty McEwen asked me to dinner tonight so, of course, I went. She is a very good cook, & as usual the dinner was very good. We had Swiss steak, creamed new potatoes, carrots & peas, Waldorf Salad & pudding for dessert. It was very nice & after dinner we listened to a few records. I left about 8:30 p.m. as I knew Mac had to study & Patty & I had to get up & go to work.

No. 230 came today, & I will get a sample of the fishline from Bill. I’m glad to hear the other person in bed with you at the Green Hotel was a MAN, but I was sorry to hear you ate old & rancid meat & were sick. That’s the way I felt when I had the flu.

Quite frankly as far as presents go I do not want a lot of Japanese junk so please don’t feel you have to bring me that stuff. I’m much more interested in a vacuum, sewing machine & furniture in general, so please don’t bring me much, if anything. I am sure Peggy would enjoy an inexpensive luncheon set if possible. Also, I have no doubt but what you need a new uniform much more than any presents for me.

I really came home with the intention of washing my hair, but am too sleepy, so I better go to sleep now.

Even though I was quite disturbed about you last night I still loves you most of all & that’s why I try so hard to help you. Please believe me. I really & truly think you & I were made for each other as I think we are real good compliments to one another. I just hope you will always love me & be true to me as I always will to you.

All my love & kisses & hugs,
Jane

Wednesday
4 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
236

Dear Jane,

Today was just another day existing. Two hops. One was quite interesting in a humorous sort of way.

One was a CAP. I was to lead the two plane CAP. My wingman’s engine didn’t check out so he aborted. The ship sent another plane from one of the other flights to be with me. CAP has priority on planes. Since you have to stay near the ship and since you can’t land aboard with a full load it is necessary to jettison your load. Bob Meyer had a Napalm, 6 rockets and 2 100 lb bombs which he dumped into the ocean. The ordnance left dark spots on the light green water.

About 30 minutes later my radio went out so Bob took the lead and I followed him. After an hour in the air, flying around in a severe haze on instruments he came back over the spots caused by his jettison. With hand signals I pointed to them. He saw them and down he zoomed and circled. I could see they were causing him concern because one of them looked like a dark submarine shadow. Since I had seen the pattern of his jettison I knew the marks had been caused by him but since my radio was out I couldn’t tell him.

There was a freighter on course near the spots. All of a sudden puffs of smoke came out of its stacks and then it made a violent 180º turn, and scooting away.

Out came our helicopter to observe.

Boy, was there a lot of excitement about Meyer’s submarine. I thought I would die laughing.

Well, anyway he was alert.

How did you like yesterday’s jokes? I thought they were pretty good. Have you gotten the last one. Work on it you may get it.

The Chinese seem to be able to get an offensive underway.

The air war of interdiction with the destruction of supplies to the enemy front does not seem to be successful. It is damaging but not adequate nor is it efficient. Remember this interdiction war is not tactical aviation, ie close air support. As Mac Arthur has written we are terribly handicapped by not being allowed to hit enemy factories and transportation hubs. I actually don’t think the people at home realize what this means to us who are sticking our necks out.

This restriction makes our problem infinitely more difficult and dangerous. For me and the members of our squadron it means that we are receiving anti-aircraft fire in greater quantity than the enemy could afford if his home supplies and factories were being hit. He has weapons and ammunition that wouldn’t be here otherwise. By the same token ground fire (small arms) is more intense.

Remember this, the American people have thrust on a military commander and his units an advantage to the enemy which neither he nor we under him appreciate. I believe it is extremely unfair to ask men to lay down their lives under the conditions given to us. I believe that when a man is fighting for his life he should be afforded every conceivable weapon with which to defend himself. If the American people cannot afford to give us the necessary freedom of action I do not believe they should ask men to die.

We believe we are fighting a war for the survival of our way of life but I do not believe it just to ask these men to die when the American people prevent a legitimate military bombing or invasion merely because those same people may be risking the off chance that they may also die. I firmly hold to the idea that what the burden of risk carried by these men should be equally the burden of risk carried by all of our people.

If the people at home do not feel as I do that this is a just and good cause then I do not believe we should be here. If the people at home do not believe as I do that the individual who is on the battlefield is entitled to all the use of all tactical and strategic weapons then I do not believe we could be here. If the people at home do not believe as I do that the risk of death and of loss of property should be shared equally by all then I do not believe we should be here.

We are here and we are fighting well. We will stay here and continue to fight well. But I don’t think I’ll ever forget the vacant feeling that comes with the lack of total support and the futility of risking life to gain a negotiated peace where the enemy guilty escape punishment; nor so I think that I will ever get over the feeling I have of looking at aerial bursts, machine gun tracers or of actually hearing the enemy guns rattle a few hundred feet below, you and knowing that many of them would not be there if we were not so handicapped.

All this is not for publication. I add this because I’ve read it over and see that I may have been carried away with the way I feel about all this over here.

I love you very, very much and wish with all my heart that I were near you. I guess this hasn’t been a love letter at all. You are the only gal in all the world for me.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 226

Wednesday
April 4, 1951

Dearest Rabbit,

No mail from my baby bunny today, & that always makes me sad as heck. For some reason I’m tired as the dickens tonight & so think I will fall in shortly. Nothing happened exciting today or out of the ordinary.

God, no sooner had I said that that I heard, peep, peep, peep & went out on the back porch where I had put a box for Cinder & found two kittens. Both of them unfortunately are stripped mongrels, but I think there are more on the way, so I will wait & see what the rest are like. Unfortunately I have just about run out of my list of people to give kittens to, so if there are too many will perhaps have some put to sleep as I will not know what to do with Cinder’s & Baby-cat's kittens, as I expect Baby-cat to produce shortly now. Ah me, I suppose I should have Cinder & Baby-cat fixed but I hate to part with ^$40-. What do you think I ought to do? Or do you want to drop them off the roof several times? I just went to look again & now there are 3 kittens! I imagine there will be about 5 or 6 because Cinder certainly was big enough!

Well, bunny, I guess I’d better hit the hay now, but don’t ever forget I love you most of all the people in this old world & just hope that you love me as much as I love you! You are my life & my love & always will be so please don’t worry so much that I will not follow the straight & narrow because, believe in me when I say the thought never enters my haid!

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Thursday
5 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
237

Dear Jane,

Today was re-supply and re-fuel day. The supply ship moves alongside the carrier. They shoot ropes across the water and then hook cables to the cranes. Then as the ships move along fast enough to have steerage they send the supplies across. Actually, the two ships move along in very close formation. The same technique is used with the tanker from which the ship gets fuel. A hose is stretched across the 50 yard gap or so.

We were fortunate today in that the sea was very smooth. Today has been very nice. However, the weather of late has been average to below for flying. You can still fly but it is very hazy and sometimes quite unsatisfactory but still flyable.

There were no flight operations as there are usually none on supply days. It takes all day to supply. Tomorrow I have to get up at 4 AM for an early hop. It is a reconnaissance, probably someplace in the Sariwon area.

Actually, today was a very, very sad day for me because there was no mail. But since no one at all got mail I feel a little better because I know my pink ears writes just as much or more than other gals. Of course I think I write more than any one in the Squadron. They still think I’m crazy but I don’t. The only other person I’ve heard or read about writing his wife every day while he was away is the German Field Marshall Rommel. I read that in Time Magazine. So there was some one else who had been just as I have been and am now. There must be a few other people in the world who do the same as we do.

Anyway, I love you so much it is still fun to write and look forward to writing you each day. I never get tired of telling you that you are my one and only, you always will be forever. Again I say that even if I don’t have much else I’m tenacious in my love and in my loyalty and faithfulness to you. No one could give you more along that line than I have and will continue to give. Never worry about me being good, you just see that you are good too.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 227

Thursday
April 5, 1951

Dearest Bunny,

Gosh, no letter from you again today! Your letters, even if they're sometimes real Scroogey, really do wonders to bolster my morale. Gosh, I always rush home to the mailbox before I do anything else, go to town or anything. On days when there isn’t a letter I really feel crushed.

Well, when I woke up this morning I found 5 kittens —just one black one & 4 stripped ones — so I’m going to be real brave & take 3 to the P.A. Animal Shelter & have them put to sleep. I just hope I can bring myself to do it.

I’m real sleepy tonight & was going to wash my hair but decided I’m too sleepy, so will put it off one more night. It’s now 10 p.m. & I fell asleep in the living room about 7 p.m. so guess I’d better really go to bed now.

My love is like the Rock & Gibraltar — sturdy, steady & everlasting & believe me I just live for the day when your here with me again.

All my love & kisses,
Me

Friday
6 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
238

Dear Jane,

I had an early reconnaissance hop up the coast to Chinampo where we bombed, rocketed and strafed some boats, buildings and something that looked like a mine floating in the water. I saw two of these floating objects today. Before we got to Chinampo we dropped two 500 lb. bombs and (4)-100 lb bombs on the runways of a field at Onjin-ni. We did this to make them fill in the holes as they have done before. The field is usable but it doesn’t appear that they are using it so we just keep them at work filling in the holes. Seems like a rather expensive way to dig holes but you have to keep them from landing there some way. My plane was also rigged with a camera so I took pictures of the runway. I zipped over the runway at about 50 feet. The shots show the runway quite clearly and also the holes plus the work they have done on past holes. All in all it was quite an interesting hop.

Yorg got lost from us and though we could talk to him it took 15 minutes before we found him. Austin Brenneman (Lt) landed aboard with only 5 gals of gas. This they found out when they refilled his tanks. He had to make the first pass at the carrier good, which he did, because he didn’t have enough gas left to take a wave off. Two of the planes radios went out and one had an electrical short with burning rubber smelling up the place. In addition the haze and water were the same color so it was just like flying into a grey wall. Major Presely who was leading was one of those with a bad radio along with Brenneman so I ended up leading the rat race. Brenneman got two holes in his plane. Somebody must have been shooting at him.

All in all, I found the hop quite diverting. It was well worth getting up at 4 AM to be on.

There is nothing else to write about. This is just another day on the ship. I usually don’t write much about the hops because you would probably get unnecessarily excited.

I still love you. I’m a very good rabbit. I live to love you. Be as good as I am and we’ll both be better off.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 228

Friday
April 6, 1951

Dear Baby,

No letter from you again today! I presume you have gone to sea altho' you didn’t tell me you were going to. Gosh, you never tell me what your doing like I tell you. Sunday, Ceilie & Kirk & I are going to the annual tea at the Sterlings, that you & I went to last year — remember?

Today was just a regular old, dull day — & another without you! Today the Certified Copy of the Power of Attorney arrived so I will take it to the bank tomorrow & transfer the money — honey.

Tonight right after dinner I washed my hair & then lay down for just a teensy nap & next thing I knew it was 9 p.m. & Buster was barking like mad & Ceilie came to bring back the sickel which they’d borrowed, & to get some flowers which I’d forgotten to pick for her as she’s having week-end company. Needless to say we gabbed & gabbed & groused & groused. Among other things, we wondered if you would be the same when you came back. She said Kirk changed considerably after he came back. Someway or other I don’t think you will have changed too much, & of course I hope it’s for the best — since they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. But my heart was already brimming over with fondness, & I was always the eager, lovey rabbit, & you always told me I was silly & “of course, you loved me”. Well, anyway Clit & I can hardly wait until our tails really wiggle & wiggle & wiggle until we’re really pooped! Oh boy!

Be a good baby because I am & always will be.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Saturday
7 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
239

Dear Jane,

Well, what do you know! Fourteen letters! Yes, 14 letters from you today! What a haul! Boy was I elated! 14, mind you, 14! I’ve read each of them twice.

A few of them were sad, sad letters which gave me this impression:

Whether you care to believe it or not I still think I did the right thing and called you at the right time. (1) I was not at first permanently on the overseas roster as were the others. (2) When I was on the roster I was the first to draw a dead horse so I could send you money to come down to El Toro and so I could pay for your expenses and mine while there. (3) Before I drew the dead horse I have had only ^$59 on August 9^th, as my check book shows. I am beginning to resent your insistence that I did you dirt when what I did was the only logical course to take. You seem to think that love requires a man to be stupid and foolish in all of his affairs. I try to keep my head even though you seem to continually lose all power of logic. It seems that anytime I say “no” because we lack the money you assert that my love is shallow; I don’t love you; I’m thinking only of myself; I’m making a slave of you; I have stolen your life and appropriated all of your labors to satisfy any and all selfish, egotistic personal desires I have; I love money more than I love you; I have $ signs for blood etc.

You seem to believe that you were quite proper and righteous when you slugged me in the head at Laguna. I think you were pathetically wrong and lacked a mature view as to how people survive in life. There is much more to living than some hazy rose colored state of mental and physical relaxation and pleasure.

Well, I’ve said enough in this letter. Don’t get the idea from the above that I don’t love you because I do love you very much. I don’t do things because I want to hurt you. I love you and try to do things that will be best for both of us. Really and truly I think of you before I think of myself. I am faithful and loyal. I am a good rabbit because I love you. I want only you. I do what I do to protect you. Believe me, I try hard to be a good husband.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

Do you ever wonder what great quotes we're missing out on with these lost letters?

Sunday
8 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
240

Dear Jane, ()

Well, I can hardly get over all the mail I received. Boy! was that a good deal. I was nearly dying for some and when it did come it snowed me under.

Poor little pink ears. All the world seems dark and dreary but old Mert loves you most of all. He’s true blue. You’d never find a better husband. At least I try very hard. I don’t know how to try any harder. Inside I know I love you and try never to hurt you but you keep saying what a mean guy I am. I don’t think I’m cruel or mean. Do you really and truly think so badly of me? Sometimes I think you say things because you have some subconscious reason for wanting to hurt me. One way to really hurt me is to say I’m cruel and mean to you. Really now, am I that awful?

We are operating off Wonsan now. For some reason or other we made a quick trip from the west coast to Sasebo and then out here. Today I flew up near Iwon.

The weather was clear but cold again. The water is around 43º. You sure don’t want to get dunked in that.

You know your letters made me happy but at the same time you raked me over the coals so much I can hardly forget it. I worry now what your next letters will be like. Is this all preparation for your telling me I’m an over grown skunk and you now have a man who will treat you better and give you what you want? I never write letters like that do I?

Tomorrow I have two hops.

The late word is that we will get relieved in July or August. You know this won’t go on too much longer. I’ll be home and we’ll make love like mad. What a wonderful time that will be, even though I am vile, mean, cruel, inconsiderate. Sometimes I don’t think you like me. I love you, though.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 230

Sunday
April 8, 1951

Dearest Rab,

Just another old, dumb dead day without you — not much happening or not much excitement. I cleaned the living room & bedroom, walked around the yard & monkeyed, etc. & then about 4:30 Ceilie & Kirk came & got me & we went to the tea at Sterling’s. It was much the same as last year & just as “dead”. We only stayed about half an hour as they were very tired as they’d just put in there back lawn & it was quite a chore I gather. After the tea we went back to their house for dinner — fried chicken, hot biscuits, corn on the cob, etc. & lemon pie — all very, very good as usual because as I have said before she is a terrific cook & extremely able. I only stayed until about 8:30 as they were real, real tired. It was a simply gorgeous day — warm, sunny & lovely.

Gosh, rabbit I miss you so much I don’t know what to do, & just long & long for the day when you’ll be home with me again. Sundays are always so dull & long & boring & never at all interesting because all I do is stay home alone & work like a beaver, getting the house clean & then there’s not even anybody to admire it! The yard is real pretty now & I wish when I come home in the afternoons you were out sitting in it, but you never are. If you were here now I’d hug you & squeeze you until you were breathless & then shower you with big, gooey kisses. Oh boy!

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Monday
9 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
241

Dear ,

I wonder if crushed rabbit will sell as well as crushed pineapple. I never thought of myself as a cruel crusher of rabbits. I’ve always been under the impression that I loved you and was always real, real nice and kind to you. One never really knows what others think of him does one?

A catapult shot is one where the air plane is hooked to a compressed air sort of a gun at the bow of the carrier and on a signal is fired so that in the space of about 100 feet the plane is moving 85 knots which is ample flying speed. Of course, the engine is going full blast all the time.

July or August now seems to be the home month. It is a long time. Perhaps three more months. Gosh that seems like a long time. I can hardly waite until I hold you once again and make mad love. Boy, won’t that be good! The way I feel now makes 12 in 24 seem awfully easy. I’ve really set my mind to setting an all time record. Maybe 18 or 20 in 24 is possible. I’ll try anyway.

It is really getting warmer up here. The water is still quite cold.

Life on the carrier is pretty darm good. The chow is excellent. I’m actually getting fat. The soft sack makes me lazy. I sure wish you were in it with me. There’d be a lot of thumping going on with tails quivering.

There is nothing more to write about. I guess everything is going along ok. You are paying our debts I hope.

Never worry about this rabbit not being true and good. He loves you and will always be good. You be a good girl and have Clit waite for Jr. He’s waiting so she can too. If she doesn’t there’ll be a lot of sad people around when he finds out.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 231

Monday
April 9, 1951

Dear Bugs Bunny,

Gosh, if you were here tonight you’d really be laughing — because Baby-cat is having kittens! God, it wasn’t enuf that I just got up courage to have 3 of them put to sleep Saturday, but now so far Baby-cat has had four! Egad, I’m about at my wit’s end! We’ve simply got to have these cats fixed, because this is just getting to be too much of a good thing. I hope Baby-cat doesn’t have any more. None, so far, are pure black but have white paws or something. However, only one is stripped like Cinder’s have been. Baby-cat’s children are very small compared to Cinder’s precocius brats. God, can you imagine Cinder & Baby-cat having children just 5 days apart? Isn’t that really something though? At least there certainly isn’t anything slow or backward about those two. I really am kind of laughing myself, but now I don’t know what to do with Baby-cat’s children!

Gosh, Rab, no letter from you again today, & that means no letter from you since last Wednesday. I expect you went out to sea again & just forgot to tell me. It really is terribly, terribly sad when I don’t get a letter from you. I just feel depressed all day long on the days when there aren’t letters from you because actually that’s all I survive on — hearing from you. Well, let’s hope there will be one tomorrow so I won’t be so sad.

Just a plain, ordinary day today, excepting I will say the weather was really just divine to say the least! Warm & sunny & really beautiful. So warm you didn’t even need a coat. It was so warm it made us all very lethargic & consequently I am very sleepy & hope you will excuse me once again with the same loving thoughts of you & you alone. Honestly, rabbit I’m getting so anxious to see you & be with you that I don’t know what to do. Gosh, won’t it be a simply magnificent day when we are together snuggling again.

All my love & kisses,
Me

Tuesday
10 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
242

Dear Jane Crushed Rabbit,

I got a letter from Mom today. This is very odd but I guess it was picked up by a ship and brought out.

I flew two hops today. One was up by Sonju and the other near Wonsan. The area was very familiar. The Reds are moving a lot of stuff down.

There is really nothing to write up. I still have hopes of getting home in the next three months. The say no one will be out longer than a year. My year ought to be up in about 3 more months or maybe four months. Still that seems so far away.

I love you as you know I do. How can I be bad on board? I wouldn’t be bad anyway. You can feel secure in that you have nailed one man in marriage and he really likes it. That man is I. When you nailed me you nailed me but good. You’ll never have to worry about this rabbit straying.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 232

Tuesday
April 10, 1951

Dearest Rabbit,

No letter from you again today & I am very, very sad, because of it! Gosh, your letters make all the difference in the world to me between a happy day & a sad, dull, depressed day. Gosh, rabbit’s wiggle why do I love you so much that even your letters make all the difference in the world to me?

Nothing exciting happened today at all. I ate lunch in the Union alone as usual, took 3 of Baby-cats kittens to the Animal Shelter & had been put to sleep also. Oh yes, one thing — I have a terrible psychological problem on my hands, because Baby-cat simply refuses to take on any of the responsibilities of motherhood at all. She ignores all the kittens, while Cinder feeds & washes them all. Baby-cat just lounges around as if she didn’t have any responsibilities in this world. Goodness, I guess we’ve just brought up a spoiled brat! It’s a good thing Cinder has plenty of milk or I do believe that Baby-cat would let her one child starve! What a brat she turned out to be!

Tonight I ironed for a change & I do mean a change as that is still a bugaboo to me — seem to be able to do a lot of other things before the ironing. God, bless it!

Well, I really don’t have much else of interest to talk about so suppose I had better hit the hay now.

Be a good rabbit, because I am & my ears stand up pretty straight most of the time — like this — They get sadder & sadder the longer you are gone, & each day I wish more & more & more that you were here beside me, so we could love & hug & bill & coo!

I’m always a good, true & faithful rabbit to you & you alone.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Wednesday
11 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
243

Dear Jane,

I hope by now you have sprung at least half way up to this size:

Today the weather is quite poor so we aren’t flying. The early hop went out but had to come back. There is a lot of rain and mist. The Reds are probably moving like mad. They are slowed in one place at least. Fifteen miles north of Hamhung we dropped 10 500 lbs bombs at the crest of a mountain road and caused bomb craters in the road and a couple of land slides. It is the main road south on the coast so that ought to slow them down there at any rate. By tomorrow night they ought to be able to make it passible and probably we will hit it again. We have also severed two railroad bridges on the main line south and that also ought to help a little. The Reds are very energetic about repairing the damage. It probably costs them ^$500 to repair a road and ^$2000 for us to blow it up. Now if we could blow up their factories we could probably reverse that ratio.

The boy are getting quite disgusted with all the criticism MacArthur is receiving on his public statements. We have read them all and find we are 100% in agreement with his sentiments. The next day we read that our allies, diplomats and politicians are critical of what he says. The way they are beginning to treat him and hamper him and then giving him a task beyond the resources they give him you would think he was a Marine.

I doubt if MacArthur has ever been more popular with Marines or ever had a command more solidly behind what he says and does. Actually, I resent the stupidity of the men who criticize him.

First, I resent the implied policy of expending life to gain a position at the bargain counter. When I shoot some one on the ground I have no feeling what-so-ever of negotiating with him. When some one on the ground puts holes in my plane or fires air bursts around I feel that we are beyond the point of negotiation. If one wants to negotiate it should be done before the shooting begins and not after.

Secondly, the enemy chose war as a solution to his problem. We have joined with him on the field. Any compromise now is a surrender of all for which we are now fighting, ie, to punish an agressor. To kill and wound enemy troops will in no manner bring home the idea of punishment to his leader, the instigators of this war.

Thirdly, one of the good traditions we as a nation have steadily maintained is that of unconditional surrender of the enemy. There is nothing more convincing to an enemy than total surrender. Of course, at times we have failed to keep him surrendered but that is a different problem.

Fourthly, I am damn glad we have a MacArthur in command who will come out in the open with plain and simple facts which I am becoming convinced many of our diplomats, politicians are either too utterly stupid to see or understand or they are actually moral and physical cowards who are afraid to facts face the facts. You see, the rest of us over here are too small or too inarticulate to be heard.

Can’t the people understand the Reds are killing our boys? They are wounding and maiming them every day. Aren’t we going to avenge the death and pain? Since when did our life and blood become so cheap? At what point did my life become no more than a poker chip on the diplomats table?

Every once in a while I get angry about the way things are going in our nation’s life. This new policy or attitude of viewing us in the old light of mercenary troops astounds me. I’m a citizen. Do you understand? I’m a citizen! These dead and wounded are citizens too.

I believe in this: When we neglect the rights of one citizen we are neglecting the rights of all citizens. When we permit one citizen to perish in a cause for all citizens and the remainder are callous to the loss of one then all the citizens have perished.

As usual not much goes on on board ship. The routine day after day is the same. We just waite for the variation a trip to port provides. Actually, going to port is dull in itself bit still it is change.

Still as usual, I love you. Funny how you love some one. Wonder what it is? There never has been any doubt that I love you. You just meet and that is all there is to/it. You get together and begin to think of kids. Wonder why all that happens? What makes a guy loyal and faithful to a gal and vice-versa? There doesn’t seem to be any answer so I’ll just go on loving you.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert

No. 233

Wednesday
April 11, 1951

Dearest Rab,

This is just going to be a short note because it’s 12 p.m. & I’m tired & sleepy.

Marie Knowlton had a cat session for seven of us tonight & from it I am really kind of bushed. We all took our sewing & got there about 7:30 & didn’t break up until 11:30! Quite some catting too! At least we had fun & I think an enjoyable time was had by all! Marie had a real good dessert sort of like pineapple nabisco. They moved into a one bedroom apartment in the Village & it is quite nice, & of course a thousand times better than the other place they had.

Believe me when I say it’s a sad day when I don’t get a letter from you & today was another one of those days! Gosh, why haven’t I gotten any letters from you for a whole long, long week. How gruesome it is to not have you or any letters either! What a gyp!

I’m a good, true blue baby pink-eared rabbit & always will be don’t you worry, & just because I have you!

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Thursday
12 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
244

Dear Jane,

No particular news today. The same routine: fly and waite to fly again.

I had one hop in the Hamhung area. We got quite a few trucks and buildings. Each day we find something. Each day there is more and more stuff and consequently the Reds find it harder to conceal more stuff.

The weather has been fine today after yesterday’s rain and mist.

We re-fuel day after tomorrow. This letter ought to get off this ship then.

Tomorrow I have two hops. I have to get up a 3:40 AM. Believe me this is getting to be a rough deal when that happens. I have a second hop at 1300 or there abouts.

Today I counted the number of combat hops I’ve flown. I count 74. So far I’ve been very lucky. Only one hole of any seriousness. That happened on the 9^th of April at Iwon on the East coast. Some guy or gal got a 30 calibre round in my engine and knocked out a cylinder. The engine ran fine. Oil and smoke came out. The bad part was the weighty decision of whether to head over 50 miles of icy ocean to the carrier. Since the job seemed to run ok I flew out. That was an awful long 20 minutes or there abouts. All’s well that end’s well. Just keep on saying your prayers. Let us hope my good luck continues.

The trip back to the carrier wouldn’t have been so bad if I had only known that just a cylinder had been knocked out. The sp suspense and mystery was ample.

Of course, I love you. I’ll always love you forever. When I get home I’ll still love you. You be a good girl and I’ll be a good boy.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 234

Thursday
April 12, 1951

Dear Little Baby,

Oh boy — 3 big, fat letters from you today! I certainly feel much better now that I have heard from you, but what you are doing doesn’t especially sound safe & sane — especially when somebody got a hole 2 feet from his head. I do think the episode with the “submarine” was very amusing & I can imagine how you laughed & laughed when the freighter made 180° turn, etc. That really is quite comical.

Nothing exciting happened today & after my late night out last night I’m quite sleepy & it is now only 7 o’clock but I think I’ll go to sleep as I’ve been dead tired. Guess I must be getting old because I can’t stay out even until midnight anymore.

Today Nos. 236, 237 & 238 came, but Nos. 231-235 are missing, but I suppose they will be along soon. After your monologue (interesting tho) on how MacArthur’s hands are tied I can imagine your reaction to his recall by stupid Truman, but I won’t go into it because I am sure you will! Gosh you sure spend a lot of time worrying that I won’t be a good little pink ears — why? I never have had, & never will have, any thoughts of not being true, because actually such a thing never enters my head. Why in the heck do you stew & fret so about something that is so silly & far from my head. All I do is wish & wish & wish you were here with me instead of so darn far away. Believe me when I say it’s gruesome to come home night after night to our sad, lonely house with no baby rabbit there to greet me. All I want is you home near me & beside me so we can love together again as I have always loved you.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Friday
13 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
245

Dear Jane,

Another day. I had two hops. The first one was up near Pungsan and then down to Puckchong. We worked over some supply areas. The second hop we got 12-15 trucks near Chickyang. Seems like yesterday we got a whole bunch of trucks also. You know you lose track of what goes on after the hop is over.

I had a big aerial camera in the cockpit. While working it I sprained my thumb on it. That may give you and an idea how big it is. I took pictures of the burning trucks and fuel dump. Also, I took pictures of a napalm hit on a tunnel mouth at Wonsan Airfield.

I wonder if you are ever able to locate the towns I give you? Our maps have them but our maps are quite large.

Two letters from you were received. Dr McCabe, our Squadron doctor brought them from Itami today. He was back there as a medical witness at a court martial. It sounds as though all is going well. I note you have taken the money out of my account and applied it to the car. I hope you are putting ^$300/mo toward the car. I’ll be quite shocked to learn otherwise. If you don’t I’ll have to put the vacation money toward the car. I plan to have the car paid for in September. I also plan to pay off most of our other debts by Jan 1, 1952.

Some how or other I feel that once our debts are gone you will be more cooperative than ever before about avoiding even tiny debts. I have tried to make being in debt as horrible for you as it has been for me. If by chance you have not thoroughly learned the horrors of debt I will take you through another experience and take chaotic measure to ensure that you see the horrors as I see them. Soon you will say anything, anything at all is better than debt.

I still have my stupendous love for you. It is really something. I often wonder if you could possibly feel about me the way I feel about you. Some how I don’t think you have as big a capacity for love as I do. What do you think?

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you
Mert

No. 235

Friday
April 13, 1951

Dearest Baby,

Another Friday thank gosh — I wish every day were either Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Kirk had to work tonight so Ceilie & I went to dinner at a barbecue place called The Hickory Pit in Redwood City. I had spare ribs & they were very good, & it was fun to go out to dinner to a different place. After dinner we went back to her house & I mended a sheet on her new Singer sewing machine & stitched the binding ribbon on a hem, both of which I’d been meaning to do for a long, long time. It was kind of a different evening & fun for a change.

Today Nos. 232-235 came & oh boy do I ever welcome those letters with open arms! They are the best friends I have — believe me! They came right along regularly & I know I can depend on them. In No. 233 was your P & L Statement which reminded me with a jolt that I have not sent you one yet this month! Eek, will I ever be in the D-O-G-house. If I were not so sleepy I’d do it tonight but since it takes quite a while I guess I’ll wait until tomorrow night. I’m very, very sorry, but it just slipped my mind. I really had to laugh at the items for “presents” — how come Karen & Kaye rate more expensive ones than I do? Whatever you got us that is! Incidently, have you received Roger’s camera & film yet? I hope you get some nice colored shots as I should think with the colored film you ought to be able to do quite well. Ye god’s, how come all these people owe you money — Mr. Gotrocks? You know I can’t help but chuckle over your P & L Statements because they are so detailed — they really strike my funnybone someway — hope you don’t mind too much.

Well, I hope you will not be too mad at me because I forgot my statement because I realize that is a very grave sin.

Today I also got a letter from your mother & they are coming up here the weekend of the 28^th. Of course, I shall be very glad to see them & have company. I just hope the weather is nice.

I’m awfully sleepy now, so hope you will not be too disgusted if I don’t do the P & L & go to sleep tonight.

I love you very, very much & hope you know it by this time!

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Saturday
14 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
246

Dear Jane,

Two more letters from you. Naturally they were good to get. Also, a letter and a camera with film arrived. Apparently, you and Roger are working some deal. It also seems that you have informed him that I have gotten or could get his lens. I am of the opinion that I wrote you that I can’t get one. I couldn’t get one in Tokyo, Yokohama, Yokusoka, Sasebo, Osaka nor in Kobe. I also wrote that I had written the Company a letter. So I have. They answered by giving me a price list but they said they could do me no good. They said that if I ordered they might be able to mail me what I specified but it would take 2 or 3 months. I don’t hold with the mail order idea. Now I’ve tried everything I can think of but to no avail. Remember, I wrote this same news to you once before. Why did you leave Roger with the slightest hope of success. What are you going to do now? I might add that several fellows in the Squadron have tried to get the same lens and also cameras but no deal. So you see there are many this same boat. In fact I have done considerable more hunting and writing than most.

I shall take the pictures. I have given up the idea of getting a camera. They are too expensive to buy and too expensive to use. I would like to get a good camera if I got one but since I can’t afford a good one I don’t want one. Besides that, we owe too much money. Where are you getting all the cash to buy film? Also, the less I spend the more we will have for a vacation.

Tomorrow is the last day of operation this cruise. We go to Sasebo tomorrow afternoon. When or where we go on the next cruise I don’t know.

Never worry about my love for you it is still as strong as ever. You were built just for me. You are my idea of a perfect wife so just don’t worry about me chasing around. I haven’t and I won’t.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 236

Saturday
April 14, 1951

Dearest Rab,

One letter from my baby. No. 231 finally showed up. You said you had relented & bought Karen, Kaye & me some presents of Japanese junk. That is very nice & I will be anxious to see what you got. I really do think some Oriental things are very pretty, but as for me don’t get me too much as I’d much rather have the money toward a dishwasher or some furniture so don’t feel badly about getting me a lot of presents. However, I might add for the last time I think it would be nice if you got some small things for your mother, mine, the Dermody’s, etc. & Edie & Ken, as quite frankly they will probably expect it. You know when people come back from overseas it is customary to bring back small presents.

Today I felt real peppy & so cleaned the living room & bedroom & then painted about 1/4 of the bedroom so that I got most of the ghastly dark blue off. The new blue is very, very pretty & just the color I wanted. Tomorrow I’m going to try & finish the rest of the bedroom.

It is now quite early — 7:30 p.m. but I’m quite tired so I think I’ll cut this off short & go to sleep. However I will do my Accounting Statement for March which I have forgotten I am sorry to say.

Needless to say I love you very, very much & just keep wishing & wishing you were here this Saturday night as I hate Saturday nights all alone — it’s really gruesome believe me! Just Cinder, Baby-cat, Buster & me & nobody to talk to or to love with or anything! What a lonesome rabbit am I for my one & only blue eyed, lovey baby rabbit with the ears that stand straight up !

Be a good, good baby because I always am.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Sunday
15 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
247

Dear Jane,

Tomorrow we head for Sasebo. We will be there a few days and then back to Korea.

Today I had only one hop. It was quite interesting because of the fog. Over land the weather was clean but for 50 miles out from the coast the fog went from the ocean up to 500 feet. We flew over the top. Coming back the carrier had to find a hole to get in so we could land. All went well; however. You know, there are quite enough risks outside of enemy action to justify flight pay. I don’t see why the complaints by ground people. For them, when there is no enemy action there is nor more risk than just the ordinary hazards of living and working. In flying there is an inherent and ever present risk. An emergency must be contemplated every second of flight. Every emergency has to be calculated in terms of life. Sometimes flight pay doesn’t compensate for the added risk. Sometimes flight pay is too much for the risk. On the average I figure it works out ok. Wonder how I got off on this dissertation.

One thing you mention in a letter is the sewing you have been doing. It is the type of sewing you have been doing which causes question. You write that the seems of your pants and the seems of your corset are separating. My mind travels over many causes. Are you getting fat and bulbous down there? How fat are you now anyway that your cloths are splitting at the seems? What would cause seems to burst if it weren’t ordinary fat? Pregnancy? Drooping chest? Strange hands pawing and pulling at your pants? Are seems of other garments also splitting or is it just your pants and corset. If so, why? What strange and weird events would cause panties to split? Yet, I may be ignorant of the normal stresses and strains on women’s panties. What are the normal stresses and strains I ask? Perhaps such ripping is all quite normal and because I am unfamiliar with women’s panties and corsets I need a briefing on the subject for general information. Thus, what causes corsets and panties to rip at the seems?

In spite of the numerous possibilities which yo would cause ripped panties I remain loyal and faithful. It seems I love you very much inspite of the visions I now have on call. My love is unending and quite strong to stand most stresses and strains. You could never find a guy who has more love for you. Nor do I believe you could ever find a guy who equals my being good away from you. Jr. has been with me and never been out. He plans to go out with Clit soon however. We are beginning to dream of caresses and loving and everything else. Abstinance really builds up a back pressure. 24 in 24 is the new goal. Might as well put the goal high. The higher the better.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you
Mert.

No. 237

Sunday
April 15, 1951

Dear Rab,

Another dumb old Sunday without any baby rabbit around to love with or coo with or even to spat with! But, this big, gruff rabbit with the bristling whiskers is a fierce, fierce monster with red eyes & breathing red smoke toward little tiny, baby rabbit’s that try to pad their accounting statements to the extent of ^$150-!! You’ve always told me I wasn’t a Flea-bait like you are, but god son, I have kept books for quite a while & how dull do you think I am not to pick up the ^$150- you charged off to my allotment. This, of course, will cause me to look closely here after at you P & L’s as they come in. God, & you’re the one that’s always accusing me of all kinds of things. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

Today I finished cleaning the house & painted about 1/4 more of the bedroom, so about half of it is now painted. I’ll finish painting it next weekend, as the next weekend your folks are coming up.

By the way have you received Roger’s camera yet? If so, are you having fun with it?

Peggy asked me over for dinner at about 2 p.m. today & so of course I went. Thelma, her niece, was there & another friend of theirs who used to be their neighbor also. Thelma‘s husband’s brother a Seaman, is also on the Bataan.

I came home for a while about 4 & put in a hem, fed the kids & generally monkeyed around, then at 7 I went back again & Peggy & 3 of her friends & myself played Canasta I was high man & won 55¢! Boy, was I lucky!

Gosh, I’m awfully sleepy now rabbit & hope you’ll forgive me if I cut out the love stuff as you know how much I love you.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Monday
16 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
248

Dear Jane,

We arrived in Sasebo this afternoon. It is raining but not very hard.

I got 4 letters from you. Again you inform me that I’m crushing you. You threaten a large scale revolt. Trouble with you is that I’m not there to participate in a brawl with you. It seems you have built up a head of steam and there is no little soft eyed, gentle hearted, fearful rabbit to sit transfixed as the storm blows about him. Every batch of letters I get contains at least one dour letter. When you speak of revolt what are you talking about? On the other hand, you speak of enduring love. Somehow I am the root of all evil in your life. Sometimes I think you don’t like me and don’t want anymore to do with me. What is wrong about me worrying about you and what you do or what might happen to you? I happen to love you and that is why I feel the way I do. Of course I trust you but I still worry about what might or could happen. Is that so terrible? Haven’t you ever had anybody worry about you before?

Well, inspite of all your accusation I have been doing some thinking. Here are the basic factors I have been thinking about for the last couple of months: (1) You should be doing something to be legitimately occupied while I’m away. (2) Our debt. (3) The uncertainty of my place of duty in the states. (4) The possibility of us having a kid. (5) The effect of your leaving the job you have suddenly or in the middle of a rush. (6) You have been working too hard and too long.

One solution does come to mind which seems to meet many of the problems listed and those which I haven’t yet brought to mind. Why don’t you look around Stanford for a half time job? That would keep you occupied but would give you more time for yourself. It would help out on our debt. You could leave suddenly anytime without disrupting the business or yourself. Since you know the people at Stanford you ought to get an easy job as Secretary to some body who only wants some one half a day. They ought to pay some place around $150 for some one with your expertise and ability.

Remember for some one who has been as busy and active as you have it would appear that doing nothing would be glorious. The experience of many people shows that doing nothing is very hard to do. I doubt if you believe me when I say that the most important reason why I like to see you working is that I know you are busy; you are thinking about an outside problem. For minutes and perhaps hours out of a day you have escaped from our problems into the problems your job presents. You talk to students; you interview; you direct and control your office; you divest some of your frustration toward a work problem and not all toward our problems.

Really, I’m not callous or a big dollar sign. I actually think that you will scream and rage at the above suggestion and the reasons for it. Believe me I’m sincere and really I’m trying hard. If I have the wrong idea it doesn’t come from any evil thought or even a truly selfish one. If you disagree with the above please don’t rage at me but make some kind of a practical counter-suggestion which will fit all the factors better than my suggestion. Remember I’m not trying to start an arguement I’m trying to reach a solution which will leave us better off in all ways than we were before.

Remember, right now we have more of the material and spiritual things than we had 3 1/2 years ago. As long as we keep going ahead whether at a fast or slow rate it is better than going backwards. I’m a Scrouge because I don’t want to go backwards or to lose what we now have. Each step we take must be guaged by the length of ore and strength of our financial and spiritual legs. The big problem is to realize that we have to guage our steps and the second and equally different problem is to translate into realistic terms the “strength of our financial and spiritual legs.”

I have the feeling that you think I am writing all this to bamboozle you into doing something more for selfish me. Well, if that’s the way you feel that is the way you feel. If you do feel that way it could be the beginning of the end. I’m doing everything I can. I don’t know how to do better or to try harder. I’m trying to be a good husband. All I seem to succeed in doing is staying away from other women and being a good boy. I guess being loyal, faithful and very much in love isn’t enough. Why don’t you tell me what more I can do?

I think you look on everything I have done as pleasure to me. School was pleasure for me and pain for you. The Marine Corps is pleasure for me and pain for you. Everything I have done has been for me and you have sacrificed all and received nothing in return. How you can conceive of this as pleasure for me I’m not sure particularly when at every opening you rail and rage at me ceaselessly. For 3 1/2 years I’ve heard nothing but my selfishness and cruelty. Again and again you tell me that all women say that once a woman works for a man she is no longer appreciated. That is a batch of undiluted tommy rot. It is an incessant lie repeated and repeated until you accept it as true. If you believe all that rot just stop working and sit at home. I’ve got just so much endurance and then I have no more. We set a goal for both of us. We can surrender or abandon that goal and seek another course of action. I do know this much that I can not achieve any goal when I am attacked from when within and with-out. I have to have you on my side and I have to depend on your strength and endurance when mine grows weak. I can’t keep up defending our course of action with one hand against you and then with the other attack up hill toward a very difficult goal. God gives a man so such confidence in his own ability. He gives a man so much strength and no more. Confidence is a very delicate thing and when you lose it you might as well stop. You aren’t going any place anyway.

I don’t feel defeated quite yet but more and more often the idea comes up as to why should I struggle, why try. Maybe I don’t have what it takes and consequently all this anguish is for naught. I could just live for today and forget about tomorrow. I could plan only today’s action and to hell with tomorrow. I think there is not much use in anything and perhaps there will be no tomorrow anyway.

What ever you desire to do let’s go ahead and do it. You take the lead and I will follow. I have very little zest left in me so its time you took over.

I still love you and I’ll still be a good boy. Being good seems to be the only thing I’m doing that is right.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you
Mert.

No. 238

Monday
April 16, 1951

Dear Bunny,

No mail from po' little baby rabbit who tries to pad his accounting statements! Guess that po’ little thing had such a guilty conscience that he has forgotten to mail his letters or something! Well, all I’ve got to say is that the explanation had better be pretty good! Yak, yak, I've really gottcha’ cornered this time! Ha, ha, ha! Po’ little thing!

I came home for lunch today & Charys came with me & when we opened the door I could smell paint & found that Bud had finished painting the bedroom for me. Wasn’t that nice tho? I was delighted as I found painting very time consuming altho’ I didn’t get too tired from it. Guess I’ll have to have somebody for dinner next week-end now that I don’t have to paint, as I seem to owe everyone I know.

Well, gosh bunny (po’ cringing thing) I’m awfully sleepy & tired tonight so I hope you will forgive me if I close for now & go to bed, even though it is quite early.

Be a good, good true rabbit because I always am & always will be because I have you & have no desire to go seeking elsewhere as I’m completely satisfied that you are the best man in this whole wide world. I love you more than anyone else in this whole world & more than I’ve ever be able to tell you.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Tuesday
17 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
249

Dear Jane,

No more mail from you or anybody else.

Actually it is quite lonely out here. I do wish I were with you. When I’m with you I never feel lonely.

Rainalter, Southerland and i went around Sasebo taking pictures. They may come out ok. It was a beautiful day.

All the fellows have been talking about a place called the Officer’s Lodge in town but on a hill. The three of us went there and had a bottle of beer. We left about 1630. It wasn’t a very nice place so this rabbit cleared out of there. We went to the Camp Mower Club which is right in town. As usual, our Squadron put on quite a brawl. Just a bunch of guys drinking came create a loud, roukus time.

Always remember that inspite of anything I love you and only you. There never will be anybody else. I sure look forward to a real good time when I get home.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 239

Tuesday
April 17, 1951

Dear Rab,

This is just going to be a short note because it’s 11:30 p.m. & I’m sleepy as heck. I stopped by on the way home from work to thank Bud for finishing the bedroom & they asked me if I wouldn’t like to stay to dinner & then see McArthur arrive in S.F. as it was televised. Well, we sat glued to the television set from 7-11 p.m. & never moved. It was a most interesting thing & the actual landing of the plane, etc. was really very thrilling. Everyone agreed it was one of the most interesting things we’d ever seen. The crowd in Univ. Square (he stayed at the St Francis) was simply tremendous. They had cameras set up at Travis Air Force Base where all the reports from the plane were coming in, another outside the St Francis, one inside the lobby, one top of a bldg on Market St., one in the Control Tower at SF airport, where he landed, one to pick up the plane as it came in, & one so we could [see] McArthur as he stepped from the plane & follow him around as he inspected the honor guard. It was really tremendous & he was magnificent to say the least. The ovation’s he received were really wonderful.

Gosh, bunny besides being sleepy, I’m nearly blind for watching that television & will have to go to sleep now.

I love you most of all & always will so please don’t waste time worrying about me. Your the most precious thing I have & I honestly live for you!!! I’m all yours,

All my love & xxxx,
Jane

Wednesday
18 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
250

Dear Jane,

No mail today.

As usual we all went into the Camp Mower Club after a couple of martinis at the Navy O’Club which is about 100 yards from the Officer’s landing. How boring life is without you. Even a few drinks can’t liven this out here up. My drinking is under control and so not much out landish excitement comes my way. Occasionally someone gets in a scuffle near-by but that is about all.

When we are not flying time really drags along. There is nothing to write about really. Some day we will take a trip around the world and then you can see for yourself that not much goes on.

Tomorrow morning we set sail for the operating area. We are to be out 6 days this time. 7 o’clock is the departure time.

I loves little old you with a mad passion. You’re my Pink Ears and no one elses.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you
Mert.

[Letter No. 240 was unsent.]

No. 240

Wednesday
April 18, 1951

Dear Nasty Rabbit,

Four letters from you today & boy am I mad at you! God, Roger asked me if I thought you would like to borrow one of his camera’s, inasmuch as I told him I didn’t think you were going to buy one. Well, he said he had 3 or 4 around that he never used & he would like very much to have the pictures for his collection & he would develop them if you would take them. I only sent you the camera because I thought you would enjoy it & all I get is chastised & you want to know where I got the money for the film. Well, sonny, I took it out of my allowance & believe me if that’s all the thanks I get for doing something that I thought would please you, well just don’t ever worry I won’t bother to send you anything else ever again. Aren’t you afraid the ^$1.⁸⁰ I spend each month for stamps might be too expensive also? If you don’t want to take the pictures, don’t bother, just send the gear back & I’ll tell Roger you weren’t interested.

Also you gave me hell for telling Roger you could get the lens. Well, just before I went up there I got a letter from you in which you said you thought you could get it & had gotten a letter from the company & it would be ^$34-. Of course, now I’m sorry that I ever mentioned it to you.

Why don’t you try being human & nice for a change instead of finding fault with whatever I do? I asked you about the car before I ever bought it & gave you ample opportunity to say “no”. It would have made me a lot happier if the house were furnished, & I do not appreciate your extremely unpleasant attitude about the whole thing. Why in the hell are you always picking on me & finding fault with whatever I do? Just remember your not perfect by any means. Don’t worry tho I’ll never send you anything else, as I’m sure I wouldn’t get any thanks for my trouble.

Also you said you thought you did the right thing at El Toro — well I don’t & I never will. You took the whole thing into your hands without even so much as asking me what I thought. Let me draw a parallel — what if when Faust had offered me a job in Pasadena at ^$300- a month with a raise promised I just let this house go, picked up the kids, bag & baggage & gone down there. How would you have liked to not be able to come home to 444 Palm? What would have been the difference in that, & what you did to me? I certainly have always talked over with you anything that would affect both of us & our lives, but I can’t say you have afforded me that privilege. Just remember when you took it upon yourself to stay in the god damn Marine Corps you also denied me everything you’d been promising me. At 29 I still have no children — how much longer do you think we can wait & have much chance to conceive? Why in Mass. (Rhode Island) the Dr. there told me I should be having children as every minute we waited made it much harder to conceive. What right have you to make a big decision without even consulting me, especially since I’ve been working for you & you alone. I think the whole thing was extremely selfish, pig-headed & unfair, & worst of all you lied to me. Quite frankly if I lack a “mature view” as you say, you are so lacking in human kindness & sympathy it’s pitiful. It was much kinder to keep your god damn money & to call me on Friday you were leaving on Tuesday so that I was so shocked it took me a long time to get over it. Quite frankly, Mert I think your mean to the point of cruelty because you have some sort of an obsession about your g- d- money.

No, I’m not going to tell you that I’ve met a man who will treat me better because that’s the farthest thing from my mind because I love you, always have & always will, but — for God sakes, Mert have some compassion about someone else & how the things you do are going to affect them. Remember it takes two to make a marriage & it’s suppose to be a partnership. Remember staying in the Marine Corps was your idea completely to the extent that it has caused us to suffer a great deal. Try living all alone sometime.

I love you very, very much & most of anyone in this whole world because you’re everything to me. But please think with your heart once in a while, won’t you?

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Thursday
19 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
251

Dear Jane,

The same old thing is going on. Nothing new. The rumors about getting relief are growing stronger but they are still rumors.

You may not think so but I love you more than anyone in this world. In spite of all the squaking I do about you remember that there’s still a lot of love inside of me for you. It’s not all sex either. There’s something about you that constantly fascinates me. I still think you are as perfect as any woman could be. There’s not a better wife anywhere in the world.

Tomorrow flight operations begin again. I have two hops coming up. We return to Sasebo on the 26^th.

Don’t fall into thinking that this war over here is easy or because we are advancing that nothing can happen. It is getting tougher every day. Our troops haven’t gotten to the Chinese build up area while we fly over.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you
Mert.

As letter No. 241 is missing, we will never precisely know why No. 240 went unsent. *womp womp*

Friday
20 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
252

Dear Jane,

I got up at 0340 in the morning. Nice time to get up. How would you like that? The hop took off at 0540 and came back at 0840. We shot up a few things here and there near Chinampo but nothing much. The second hop went off at 1400. The weather was real lousy. We worked over a village and troop positions north of Soul under the directions of an SN5. Small arms fire and anti aircraft fire is picking up in this area. The Chinese are pretty solid just north of the narrow waiste of Korea from Soul to the west coast. The reds must want us to advance so the front will go from 100 to 200 miles long. When that happens they can use masses of men effectively. I believe that is why they let us advance easily. On the way home Major Presely who was the division leader got shot in the leg by 30 calibre fire near Heiju. All went well and we got home ok. He was shot down some time ago near Munson. He was rescued by Helicopter. The day after he was shot down a Capt Hennington and I were over there on a reconnaissance flight and to destroy the plane. We were ambushed also. All of a sudden the sky all around was full of aerial bursts. In one direction there must have been 50-60 bursts. It was kind of annoying so we left.

I love you a whole lot and a little more. You are my one and only. Soon I will be home and we can make up for a lot of lost time. That ought to be a lot of fun. You be as good as I am and all will be sun shining and warm. Where are we going on our second honey moon?

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

All together now: "Another missing letter!"

Saturday
21 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
253

Dear Jane,

Another day has gone by and I’m another day nearer to being with you. Sometimes I think that day is so very far away. All I think of now is coming home to you. I’m all against unenforced separations. We’ll always be together as much as possible. Here it is going into 9 months of being apart. Really, it’s terrible. 9 hours is bad enough let alone 9 months.

There are many legitimate reasons for short periods away from each other but I begin to doubt that others believe in our cause over here as much as I do. If all of our people are not in this war all the way then I feel there is no legitimate reason for me to be here. If it is not a good cause for all, which it appears not to be, then it is not a good cause for me. A feeling of being cheated and a feeling of being a stupid sucker about being in the Organized Reserves is growing on me. We seem to be a few mercenaries hired out to kill some Reds in a remote alley of the world. Never in my remotest thoughts did I imagine that our nation would take up arms against an enemy without absolute and unfailing faith in the justice of the action. Never in my clear of or hazy moments of thinking did I conclude that our people would sacrifice our lives in the enforcement of a political policy which did not envision the pursuit of our killers to the ends of the earth over any and all obstacles to the total destruction of the power of that enemy.

My faith is truly shaken when I see my friends and myself held up as some sort of human sacrifice to an inconclusive and indeterminate political policy. This can’t go on much longer. It is a question that goes far deeper than the fact that I am tired and need rest because even when you are tired if the end is good enough the means of war is justified.

Without a goal and real support we can’t go on killing Korean civilians who inevitably get in the way because it is not neither in our nature nor training. We can’t go on wasting our lives because our system places high value on the individual and life.

Read the letter MacArthur wrote to Rep. Marten or any of his statements. He expresses more truly than I have ever seen before the attitude of all of us over here. We know we had a great General over here because he knew how his armies felt. We know we had one of our greatest Generals because he put us and our feelings before himself well knowing he took a chance of losing his command. You just can’t kill people or die when the goal is wishy-washy and there is no clear indication of a determination of ultimate triumph over all enemies.

I love you. Perhaps today I am depressed. I just don’t like to kill the small people when I know the big people in Peiping and Moscow aren’t going to get hurt at all.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

Just imagine who this letter would have been adressed to. Some kind of rabbit, no doubt.

Sunday
22 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
254

Dear Jane,

There is not an awful lot to write except that Jack Rainalter was killed today near Sariwon. He has been my room-mate all the time on the carrier. He was hit by Anti-Aircraft fire while strafing some AA emplacements in support of a plane making a low napalm run. He was the 9^th pilot killed in the Squadron so far. It is the consensus of the pilots that on all of his flights he showed that he was an exceedingly brave man. He was unique in that at no time in the air or on the ground did he ever indicate in any manner a fear of death. May God have mercy on his soul.

I’ve been a very good rabbit and as the time grows nearer for me to be with you again I’m sure to continue to be a good rabbit. I will always love you.

Rainalter was a Honolulu boy. He went to Stanford. He worked in SF. He was a member of 141 at Oakland. I believe he graduated from Stanford in June ’49.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you
Mert.

It's really sad how so many of Jane's letters were lost.

Monday
23 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
255

Dear Jane,

Today was supposed to be our replenishment day with only a 1/2 schedule. As it turned out the Reds seem to have made a move of some kind, probably to screen their main move. Anyway, we flew a full schedule and a few more. I had only one hop, however, near Hanchon. That is near a reservoir on the front. Water is running out and they don’t seem to be able to stop it. There is no damage to our side, however. We are all waiting to see what the full extent of the Red blow will amount to. Naturally, our troops are moving back to lengthen the pow blow so as to reduce its force. I guess we will go back around 50 to 75 miles before hitting back hard. By the end of that the Reds should be in pretty bad shape. We hope so anyway.

As always I love you and only you. Being away from you has been awful. I don’t ever want it to happen again. I’ve had enough of this living alone. I want you!

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you
Mert

:|

U. S. S. BATAAN CVL 29
Care of Fleet Post Office
San Francisco, California

Tuesday
24 April 1951
256

Dear Jane,

I just happened to be remembering a particularly ratty letter you wrote some time past. In it you say I will never get away from you or go off any place without you or words to that effect. The idea being that if I am in the service and stationed some place like I was at El Toro for a few days you will be right there with me. No what an attitude for you to have.

The trouble with you is that you are always impractical. Now it so happens that my attitude is the same. Where I am you shall be. If I go here, if I go there and there are many hardships then you shall be there to console me in the hardship.

As a matter of fact I am all for being together. Nothing is as bad as being separated. I do believe I could endure complaints and whining just to avoid being away from you. Some how we will make out ok. It’s all a part of being a good rabbit. Nine months of no sex is too damned difficult to endure without complaint. How I look back and regret the week I spent at El Toro alone. Don’t worry pink-ears I’ll carry you around in my suit case if necessary. You’ll be a big squaker but hell, this being separated is worse than a nagging rabbit. Besides that I love you so very much. Also, you don’t nag very much and nine tenths of the time you are a sweet lovey rabbit. Me, why I’m only a sweet lovey rabbit seven tenths of the time. So you see, I still think you are best of all. Speaking of naggers, I’m far worse than you are. Funny how I never used to think so but it sure is true.

Tomorrow I only have one hop. On the 26^th we go back to Sasebo for about 8 days I hear but then you never can tell. One of these days I’m going to be home with you and boy will that be one hell of a bang up day for us rabbits. 24 in 24 is one big goal but Marines don’t care, they’ll do anything. 24 in 24, is it possible? Do you think so? They way I feel now anything is possible — may even 50 in 24. The closer I get to the day of being home the more screws there are that come loose in my head. 50 in 24, what an idea. I can hear you as you used to say: “All I mean to you is sex and nothing else.” Well, it so happens that the way I feel now sex is first and other things are later. You know there is lots of time in between sex so you’ll just have to adjust to one brutal, greedy, rapacious, sex happy rabbit for first greetings. Second thing come second I always say. Oh you, cute, sexy, rabbit, how I love you.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert

No. 246

Tuesday
April 24, 1951

Dear Rabbit,

Today I got the saddest letter in the whole world from you today — No. 248. You were trying to be helpful & suggested I get a part-time job. Well, of course when I am not blue I really think I had better go on with my full-time job at least until you come home or until the car is paid for, because I am sure if I were to only work part-time now I would be more depressed than I already am. Secondly, I know I could not get a part-time job around Stanford for anything near ^$150- a month no matter what my background. The top price would be about ^$110- a month & that would not pay for the car very quickly — or anything else. Quite frankly, I see several alternatives: 1) as you have said before if I will just hold on we’ll do our best to have a baby as soon as you return, & that would end my working days, 2) if I want to do anything get someone to help with the housework so I wouldn’t have to spend all week-end doing it, but this I can’t do because then I’d be spending ^$40- a month for help which is completely nutz — even to my feeble mind — (^$20 gardner, ^$20 house helper) so No. 2 really isn’t a very good solution I don’t think, 3) go to a doctor & have a physical to see why I’m always so tired or is it natural (I can sleep 12 hours most week-end nights with no trouble), but maybe that just comes from working & keeping house. Quite honestly, I think the chronic “gripping” I do is typical of most gals who work & keep house unless they are real “career” women, however maybe all of them are not always as tired as I am. At any rate I expect I’d be better hang on, be as happy as I can & stay in my job & just hope like heck that you don’t happen to come home at a real busy time at the office, altho I will say since Faust has left we have not been too busy. However, last week I lost ^$1600- in the History budget & it took me 3 days to find the mistake & I nearly went nuts.

Please forgive me for my depressed letters, but sometimes I get panic stricken that we won’t be able to have children for 2 or 3 years after we begin to try, or that you will have to stay in the Marine Corps a long time & when we need the money to support a family you will be starting at ^$250- for a lack of “experience”. I just can’t help feeling panicky on these points & this makes me as irritable as the lack of money makes you. Please don’t ever think for one minute that I don’t like you & don’t want any more to do with you because that is NOT the case. I repeat I knew I loved you when I first saw you & always will — I looked a long time for my rabbit but when I saw him I knew I wanted him. You ought to know by this time that I am very proud of you & always have been — I am sure you know this. Gosh, Mert it just seems to me I found somebody I loved & then whoosh, before I had time to catch my breath you were gone. Believe me when I say it’s ghastly to live alone — things just keep knawing at you & there’s nobody at all to talk to.

Of course, I agree with you that I think taking our economic background into consideration we have done remarkably well for 3 1/2 years. Most of the people we know either have family financial parasitic help &/or have been married at least 7 years. Quite frankly if you get right down to brass tax we have done almost phenomenelly well.

No, I do not feel that you are trying to bamboozle me into doing more — if I thought that I wouldn’t have any trust in you at all, which but I do trust you more than I could ever say. That’s one thing that scares me — I’ve put all my trust & “eggs”, so to speak, in your basket. I trust you so much you could really crush me to death if you betrayed my trust. If I didn’t have explicit trust in you do you think I would have worked as long as I have? Quite frankly I should think you would know all this by now, & your constant worry that I might be untrue to you never ceases to be a source of amazement to me, because I just have no desire to even look at another man much less date or anything like that. God, believe me when I say Clit thinks only Jr. & can always wait for him.

You say that the only thing you ever seem to do that was right is being good. In passing just remember you never did much back patting for me — I was dumb in school, didn’t have a very good job, etc. I know I’m not perfect I just do the very best I can as much of the time as I can.

Gosh, bunny, I just live for you & that day when you’ll be here with me again & we can talk & talk & most of all love & love & hug you & know the secure feeling that you are mine & I’m yours. Sometimes I think I’ll pop if you don’t come back soon, but I keep hoping that someday before I know it, you will come home & then all this ghastly nightmare will be over.

Oh, Mert, please believe me when I say I love you more than anything or anybody in this old world. All I do is think about you. All I could ask is that just sometimes you think think with your heart & don’t always be too practical — just sometimes. Please believe in me & that I’m with you 200% & always have been & always will be.

All my loving kisses,
Jane

P.S. Today I had the 1000 mile check-up on the car & a wash job. Jimmy says he doesn’t think it’s necessary to Simonize it, as they wax them at the factory.

U. S. S. BATAAN CVL 29
Care of Fleet Post Office
San Francisco, California

Wednesday
25 April 1951
257

Dear Jane,

Today was a nice day for flying. I had one hop east of Munson. Some British soldiers were trapped in a river bed so our flight strafed, napalmed, bombed, rocketed the hills and ridges. Under this cover about 100 British got back to the lines. The British had about six tanks deployed in the valley to cover the rescue also. About 200 yds from them were some dug-in Chinese who were causing the trouble. As usual we put the stuff right in there. It got the Air force airborne controller shook up because we bombed 200 yds from the tanks. What a laugh. These guys still don’t know how to use air support. yet. 200 yds, I wonder what they would have said about 50 yds or 10 yds. The Marines like it but it seems to excite the other people. I’ll bet those 100 guys who got out of the river bottom like it a hell of a lot, however. In one spot up on a hill there we caught about 200 Chinese out of their fox holes. I strafed first and they all started to run down the hill. Since we had only used a part of our load, Yorg dropped a 500 # bomb a little down the hill. They all turned and ran back up the hill; Howard, a 2nd Lt, dropped on them up the hill with a 500 # bomb. Then they tried to go over the ridge where 100 # bombs and rockets found them. Some of them finally got away. Yesterday we caught about 600 Chinese in a ditch along a road. The reds are showing up like they did around the reservoir and they are getting the same hell kicked out of them. The Air force is getting very effective. Our artillery and motors pound them badly. The Reds are taking terrible losses. Their attack is going to grind to a bloody halt in about 3 weeks. So far our lines are holding in an orderly fashion. Up to now there is every reason to believe that we can contain them.

Tomorrow I have two hops. Up at 0340 again. I go on a Reconnaissance hop in the morning and I have a Combat Air Patrol hop over the ship at 1630. Then we all cruise back to Sasebo. We expect to be there eight days. Maybe some of us will get to Itami for a few days. If I get there I’ll try and get the fish line for Jensen and stamps for Kaye.

I loves you; I loves you and only you, you beautiful, wonderful, loveable, gorgeous, lovely, sweet dear creature. There is no one else but you for me. Because there is no one else but you in my life I do worry about you. I know you are a good rabbit, you juwt have to be because it would break my heart if you weren’t. I really am a good rabbit. I have a great big halo which I wear all the time.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 247

Wednesday
April 25, 1951

Dear Rab,

After that sad, sad, sad, sad, sad letter from you yesterday there wasn’t a letter from you today to cheer me up even a little bit so consequently I am quite sad.

Besides all this I did a naughty thing tonight. Peggy & Kitty asked me to go to Moffett Field “O” club to play Bingo & I went. There were 5 of us — the other four women all old enough to be my mother. They go nearly every Wednesday night & I have always said “no” before when they asked me, until Nancy Norton, the girl who takes care of the interdepartmental programs & a Tri-Delt (I gave her the job) came in last Thursday & said she’d won a record player & vacuum cleaner last Wed. night. So, I decided to be real devilish & risk ^$1.⁷⁵ for 15 games & hope you wouldn’t be mad if I went with all that chaperonage. Of course I had a real good time & was wide eyed but none of us won anything. It mostly consisted of couples & most were older people — & I truly mean this. It is quite a “family” night & I didn’t talk to anybody but the “girls” I was with & gosh rab, gambling is really the only vice I enjoy, so are you really mad at me because I went to a “O” club, because gosh, rab I don’t ever smoke or drink much, like other girls do. And you know the pleasure of slot machines is denied me forever & ever, as they were outlawed all over the U.S Dec. 31 (1950). That’s why Edie & I played them so madly while I was down there at Christmastime. And, really I do just love to play Bingo, & I don’t think ^$1.⁷⁵ is too bad every once in a while — do you? Or are you real mad at me for having gone? I really enjoyed myself for a change

I love you very, very much & always will & always have, so please, please believe me. I think the enclosed article is quite “interesting” — but I won’t say — “I told you so! Yak, yak.

Be a good, good baby & I will too!

All my loving kisses & hugs are always with you.

Love,
Jane

[Attached to No.247 is “Love, Marriage, Children — and Security" condensed from “The Way to Security” by Henry C Link, author of “The Return to Religion,” etc. Jane writes, “I read this with much interest, especially since I think you have heard my views on this subject — once or twice — I mean I’ve always wanted children, but we won’t go into it again.”]

Thursday
26 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
258

Dear Jane,

Today was the last day of operation this time out. Two hops today. One was a reconnaissance and shipping strike up to Hanch’on which is a town on the coast north west of P’yongyang about 20 miles. My napalm burnt two 100 foot [junks] which seem to be bring supplies down the coast from the north. The second hop was a combat air patrol over the Bataan. Now we are on our way to Sasebo.

Did I tell you that Capt DeLong and Lt Daigle shot down 4 Yak-3’s near Chinampo about a week ago. They found one of the crashes in a mud flat off the coast apparently. One of The late pilots was Yun Honp Yo, 1^st Lt, 2nd Company, 1^st Battalion, Pursuit Regiment, 813^th Nanking Army Corps. They recovered him; apparently he was dead. This is all a dispatch told me. The other three were seen two crashed and one parachuted into the water. Our boys did all right. 4 Yaks jumped two corsairs and came the corsairs came off best.

The Reds are being slaughtered terribly. Pretty soon they will realize they can’t take us and that we could conquor them if we so desired.

I believe I am going to get to go to Itami on a rest leave while the ship is in Sasebo for 8 days. When I get there I will be able to get Jensen’s fish line at the Osaka Diamaru and also Kaye’s stamps. VMF 235 is also supposed to be at Itami. I would like to see the Squadron boys again.

Soon I expect to be home. It just can’t be more than 3 months from now. I want a little loving and caressing. There never will be any other lover than you so never worry about me. I will alway be true, faithful and loyal. Jr. is a very good boy. Just see that Clit is like wise. I don’t go for this modern notion that sex is just an urge and satisfaction can be had on a physical basis with anyone just so long as the true love is for your mate. Baloney, to that. You are all mine always or you are no part mine. I’m all yours always or I am no part yours. It may be a funny and illogical notion but it is inflexible and will never be compromised. Gosh, Pink ears I do love you so, You seem to make me weak down someplace in the middle of me when I think of you. The only reason I want to live is to be yours and to be with you.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

Second to last missing letter of the month.

Friday
27 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
259

Dear Jane,

Today two nice letters came from you. They are the best things to come my way. Your letters keep me going; keep me good; keep me longing to be home and with my one and only Pink ears. Also the letter with the material on Oxy and Harvard arrived. I wonder if Harvard ever got the ^$7.— out of the Alumni. I’m still angry about the hap-hazard way the ^$7 was handled by them. Such a small inattention to such things my indicate a larger irresponsibility in another area.

I was all hep to go to Itami but when I found out the train fare would be ^$10-^$15 I gave that idea up. There would be a total of 40 hours on the train any way. I then thought I would like to go to a rest hotel run by Special Services. The hotel is a 7 hour trip away. It seems this would be kind of expensive also. Since I have no money for that kind of duty I gave that up also. So, here I am staying on the ship. I guess I’ll get just as much or more rest on board and at the local O’Club as I would going some place. Also, staying here makes it easier to stay out of trouble, not that I would get into any, mind you, but it just seems easier. There are about 10 fellows not going any where so I have some company. The other 30 have scattered. I’m also tired of going to greener fields only to find the green there is the same as the green here.

The Post Exchange Accounting Course came also. It looks like they use the normal accounting techniques so that aught not be too hard. It will give me something to do. It is related to my training and to a phase of military life.

A fellow in the Squadron is seeking legal advice from me on the adoption of his child by his ex-parents-in-law. Another is having trouble with a wife he hasn’t written or spoken to in 3 years. It seems there is a court order requiring him to pay her ^$60 a month. Previously the Marine Corps required that the man pay ^$80 but under a revised law he has only to pay ^$67.50 which is seven more than the court requires. So, he cut his allotment from ^$80 to ^$67.50. The wife is now mad. Apparently she resents getting only ^$7.50 more than the state court allows. It seems she was happier when she got ^$20 more than the State Court would give her. The fellow’s parents and brother think he will be better off without this odd relationship continuing. He is going to waite until he gets home before he will let her get a divorce or makes a change in this odd situation. If he did it by mail he probably would end up in a very unfavorable position. Thank God we will never get all mixed up like these people. The only thing I can see which would bust us up is your making love to some one else.

Well, lover, I loves you a whole lot and far, far more than anyone else. You are just exactly right for me. It seems God made you to meet every specification my heart could envision. There’s not a thing another woman has which I don’t think you have more of and some interesting variations to boot. I have your picture right up on a ledge over my sack and in front of my eyes. I make love to you through your picture every day. Nobody could possibly have more love for their wife than I have for you. There is something wonderful about having a good woman who is a good wife with whom you are really and truly in love.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 249

Friday
April 27, 1951

Dearest Rab,

Another day without any mail from you & that makes me very, very sad, especially since you said you had just gone into Port at Sasebo & I should have gotten a letter every day since that sad, awful one I got last Tuesday. Then your mother & dad came this afternoon & said they read in the paper that two Corsairs attached to the Bataan had been attacked by some Russian planes, were damaged, but able to reach base O.K. Who were they & what happened. When I hear things like that I worry about you more than ever, & I already worry all the time — sometimes I wake up at night with an awful start & wonder & worry if you are all right — it is a ghastly feeling to have my baby so far away & be so worried all the time. Your mother said you had written her a letter & drew her all kinds of pictures on how you take off & land on the carrier. Why don’t you ever tell me about those things as I often wonder about things like that.

I stayed home from work this afternoon to clean the house because your folks were coming, but they got here about 1:15 because they had spent the night at Paso Robles, so, of course the house was not clean at all. But, slowly during the afternoon I did get the bedroom & bath cleaned up. Your mother brought us a salad fork to go with our sterling for our birthdays (yours late & mine early). They went to a dinner party at the Packard’s this evening as the Milne’s & Caswell’s were there too. It was sort of a reunion of the old Oregon supper club gang. Marie Knowlton asked me over for dinner as Dick went up to the City on some kind of a law thing & then we had a bridge game with 2 of her friends, which was fun. But it is now midnight & I am very sleepy so must close now.

Be a good baby & a true baby & a careful baby because all I have to look forward to is the day you come home & we can be together again & start our family. Sometimes I just think Clit & I will jump out of our skins if you & Jr. don’t come home soon — we’ll really be ready teddys!

All my love & xxx,
Jane

Saturday
28 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
260

Dear Jane,

Two letters today from my one and only. You seem to be upset about the where-abouts of ^$150. I believe I told you once before what happened but as usual I guess you forgot. The Paymaster sent ^$200 to you and the ^$150 was and still is on the books in my favor. So there, we still have it. My records are more honest than I suspect yours are. I hope you paid ^$300 on April 10 toward the car and I hope you are putting ^$300 toward the car on May 10 and every month there-after.

Your Statement for April is a crime against my intelligence. Unless you mean that small pencil mark in from of the ^$60 is supposed to be a 1 or ^$160 rather than ^$60. But how about explaining yourself. Are you keeping a record of the cost of the car and what you have paid on it?

Well, it sure is a good deal that I didn’t go any place after all. We are going back to the operating area Tuesday. Seems they must need us there. The Chinese are putting on the pressure. No 8 days in port after all.

There is really nothing much doing. Dr M^cCabe is going to K-1 for some kind of a medical board. It seems he is always being pulled off the ship or off some-where to do some odd job.

I note in your letter you are too tired to write that love stuff. I feel a little tired too but you know how I feel about you anyway.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

Ha, ha, ha.

Phui to you. — Ha, ho, ha

No. 250

Saturday
April 28, 1951

Dear Rabbit,

Golly moses, no letter from you again today & honestly I am really getting worried now because I can’t understand why you you haven’t written since you said you had just gone into port. I get terrible, awful pangs of conscience for fear maybe you are really mad at me & aren’t going to write me any anymore or something just horrible like that! And, I really can’t think of anything that would be worse, because after all you are my whole life, & probably that is why I feel so dependent on you & why your being so far away makes me so very sad & blue. Gosh, what would I do without you & all our hopes & dreams & plans. Just think how nice 5 little kitties would be instead of having to depend on Cinder & Baby-cat to produce for us — be of good cheer, rab, because as you say someday before we know it all this will be over & we will be happy tail wiggling rabbits again & we will forget how long this separation seemed. Be a happy bunny with ears like this: .

We didn’t get up until about 10 a.m. this morning & I made a beautiful omelette in the new play thing (mixer) & had lots of fun. No sooner had we sat down than Faust called to say he was just in for the weekend & to ask if there were any questions. Of course, I had half a dozen so all this took quite a while. After breakfast I cleaned the living room & then your mother & I made a lemon meringue pie & boy was it good! At 3 o’clock the Caswell’s (John & his wife) stopped by for a few minutes. We had an early dinner & then went to hear Ralph Bunche at Stanford, as he was speaking. It was quite a good speech & fun to go. Ceilie & Kirk were there & stopped by for a few minutes on their way home. Your dad was very impressed with Ceilie & thought she was a very smart gal.

It’s 12 o’clock again & I am quite sleepy so will close for now, but don’t ever forget I love you more than anything else in this whole world & always will no matter how much steam I blow off.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Sunday
29 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
261

Dear Jane,

Another day in port. Tuesday we sail again. There is no word yet on relief. Sometimes it seems like I’ve been out here forever. Each day seems like a year and the day never seems to get any nearer when I will get orders home.

You sure think I’ve run off with ^$150, don’t you? Pad my accounting statement, you say. You are have a guilty conscience. You’ve been wanting until you figure I’ve spent ^$150 so you will feel better about some of the spending you’ve been doing. I can assure you my auster life continues. There have been no wild splurges on my part. They way you refuse to send an intelligible accounting statement I know you have fouled your finances up some way. I think that beginning in June I will send money orders to you upon receipt of your accounting statement; one that is satisfactory. In this way, no statement of the way you spend the last money no money for the next month. No record of debts, balances in the bank etc, no money for next month. Mind you, you vixen, I’m toying with this thought. What is your re-action to this idea? Before I try it I think I should have your views.

There is nothing more to write about. As you write, “You know how I feel about you so there is no need to write a lot of love stuff —” Ha, ha, heh, heh,

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 251

Sunday
April 30, 1951

Dearest Little Wabbit,

Well, today was a nice lazy day & I barely did anything useful at all which is quite unusual for me! I did get breakfast & then got dressed & we drove down to Santa Cruz. Although the sun was out, the wind was blowing a gale & it was not to say the least a very nice day, but in the car it was nice & warm & pleasant. Your folks seem to enjoy the ride very much & said they had not had an opportunity to enjoy that kind of scenery for a long, long time. We had dinner at a place called Shadowbrooke that everyone talks about. It is on a river & has a very pretty view, but I cannot say in any stretch of the imagination that the food was extra good, but it was passable & I think they enjoyed just going out. We drove back about 5 & stopped by Ceilie’s & Kirk’s as your dad said he would be interested in seeing the house up here they bought for ^$13,750, against their house for ^$15,000-. We stayed about an hour & got home about 7 p.m.

I washed my hair & we talked about stuff & junk, & mostly nothing in particular until about 11 p.m. & since I have to get up & go to work tomorrow I guess I’ll cut this short.

I will just hope & hope that tomorrow there will be a letter from the sweetest rabbit alive. Gosh, bunny you don’t know how sad I am when I don’t get any letters from you for a long, long time, & I am especially worried because the last letter I got was such a sad, sad discouraged missile & not at all like my rab who usually has his ears standing straight up. I’m still good & true & loyal to no one but you & think about you all the time. You’re ever with me.

All my love & kisses,
Jane

Monday
30 April 1951
USS Bataan
CVL 29
262

Dear Jane,

Nothing new today. Tomorrow we go out to seas again. This is all very monotonous. If only there were some goal to all this. A holding action or containment don’t appeal to me at all. If somebody believes this is a good policy let them do the fighting. To put it bluntly I don’t think our government has set goals in this war worth fighting about. There is no point in messing around like we are. Either we fight all the way or not at all. It seems apparent that many disagree with MacArthur. As far as I am concerned — let the people who disagree with him fight the kind of a war they agree with which seems to be this half-assed style. Everybody seems to think this is important enough for me to risk my life but not important enough for them to risk their life. Let somebody else be the sucker. So much for this morbid side.

We will probably be off this carrier this month some time. Probably we will go to K-1 again. They say it is hot, dusty, smelly and many flies plus mosquitos. What a contrast to this carrier life! A tour on a carrier is ok but not as a steady diet.

As ever I love you most of all. It will be some big event that will separate us again. No more of this living apart if I can help it. I’ve been good, true blue and know you have been the same.

Believe in me and trust in me and I will believe in you and trust in you.
Mert.

No. 252

Monday
April 30, 1951

Dearest Rab,

Tonight I am very sad because I know you are very, very sad as the Palo Alto Times carried the news tonight that Rainalter was killed a week ago yesterday. When I heard the news I can’t tell you how I felt — the bottom of my stomach dropped out — for, of course, I thought, oh God, it might have been my precious baby rabbit. And, I knew you were quite fond of him. Was it a result of the dog fight that we heard about & was so widely publicized? What happened? Oh, rab, at times like these I have to cry to think how mean & nasty I’ve been to you, & how very much you mean to me. Please will you try & forgive all my meanness & nastyness because surely you must know how much you mean to me & how dearly I love you. Why do I have to have something like Rainalter’s death to sober me up? What makes me mean & selfish? I guess I get tired, lonesome & most of all worried about you. Whether you know it or not I worry all the time about you, & honestly I think about you so much that you fill my every waking moment. Oh rabbit please, please be careful because remember you are all I live for & I have nothing else or no one else but you & never will have. Clit & I have been the goodest, truest things in this whole world, just waiting for you & Jr., we have never faltered & never trembled for even one minute or came anywhere near to being anything but completely good & true & faithful to you & Jr. alone.

How can I ever tell you how much I love you & how much you mean to me? You are all I want & I ever will want, & I honestly think we were made for each other, because I knew I loved you the first time we met. All I can say is I have tried & always will try as hard as I possibly can to make you love me forever & ever.

Your folks spent the day with the Packards & came back here for dinner. However, our evening was considerably sobered by the sad news.

Oh, bunny, I am very sobered by this sad, sad happening & pray all the time for you. I can pray even tho I don’t go to church. Just keep on believing in me & my unfailing love for you, & we will both pray to God.

With all my love & kisses,
Jane